Saturday Stories. #11 Restaurants.

PLEASE NOTE: This post is for humor purposes, it is not intended to be taken seriously, nor is it intended to be taken as complaining. Thank you!

Good morning everyone! However, I realize that for many of my readers it is no longer morning and by the time this is posted it will likely be evening for some of you. I need to start earlier, like I used to do. I’m really not sure why I changed, but changing back seems hard to do for some reason.

Anyway, it is a good time for a cup of coffee, or tea, sit back and relax for a few minutes with me as we look at some things from my past. Things seem to happen to me, especially at stores and restaurants. I do not need to try either, things will just happen. It used to be that way with my dad, now it happens to me. Dad could always blame me for things, but I have no one to lay the blame on. Just me.

Thought I would share more of my little friends today. This is Jasper the Red Squirrel.

I go into a restaurant with a friend, we sit down and the waitress brings us coffee and takes our order for breakfast. My friend puts cream in his coffee (one of those little individual creamers) and so do I. His was fine, my cream was sour. The waitress brings me another coffee and a new dish of creamers. I put one in and it is sour. We try again. Third time it is sour again. Fourth cup of coffee.

By this time the owner is there with fresh creamers. He puts one in his coffee. It’s fine. I put one in my coffee. It is sour. Fifth cup, cream is sour. By this time there were 3 waitresses, the manager and his wife, plus a couple other customers watching. Sixth cup, sour cream. My friend had a fresh cup of coffee now and he tried, cream was fine. I did not want to give up. Seventh cup was fine.

Okay, this one is not quite so little, this is Junior the White-tailed Deer.

There was a loud cheer from everyone. Sigh. Another time I went into a restaurant, spotted some people I knew and stopped to chat a bit, then kept walking, but not fully turned around yet, still saying goodbye. Bad move on my part. I kind of stumbled a bit, bumped into a table and ended up sitting on a ladies lap! There were 4 ladies at the table.

They all laughed about it, as did my friends. According to the waitress my face was quite red. Sigh. Another time, and different restaurant, I had ordered a hamburger and fries. They had good hamburgers at that place. I took a bite, munch, munch. It was good as usual. Second bite, munch, munch. Something did not feel quite right.

And this buck is a bit bigger than Junior, this one is named Major.

I looked at the bottom of the bun. Completely moldy. I mean thick mold. Like really fuzzy mold. I suddenly did not feel so good. I waved to the waitress and showed her. “Oh no!” she said and took it away. Sigh. The cook and manager came out and apologized. I ordered something else and did not have to pay for it. Sometimes you can get a chain reaction of events.

Such as one time my brother and I were at a restaurant, and some places put their tables much too close together, like this one. It was quite crowded that day and two men chose the table behind my brother. The one man was rather, um, large and he sat down rather hard and fast.

That pushed my brother who then pushed the table knocking my water glass over spilling it onto the table and onto my lap which caused me to suddenly jump so as not to get too wet and that caused me to bump the lady behind me causing her to scream and drop her forkful of food onto the floor. Fortunately it missed her nice dress.

This is a female Common Redpoll at the feeder.

Also, fortunately, she did not blame me when she discovered what had happened. I was still rather embarrassed. The waitress apologized to the lady and me and she tried to dry off my jeans with a cloth, which was a waste of time. My brother was laughing so much he couldn’t eat. Sigh.

Another time, at my favorite restaurant, Krissy brought my food and set it on the table. Then she decided to lean over and kiss me but lost her balance putting her hand down on the table but she hit the edge of the plate causing the plate to flip right over onto my lap. Krissy laughed. Loud and long. Fortunately she had locked the door and put up the closed sign so we would not be disturbed.

This is a female Downy Woodpecker enjoying some suet.

Otherwise it might have been embarrassing. Forget “might”, it would have been. Krissy did wash and dry my jeans for me. Sigh. This is only a partial list of things that have happened to me at restaurants. I hope you all enjoyed my chuckles today. Have a great weekend everyone and God bless!

Steve and Muffin.

©2024 Steve McLeod.