Muffin’s Fun! #71

Hi, hi to everyone!😺 Happy furtastic Friday! What you think about my new word? My human not too impressed, he laugh instead. So, he end up with new bandage on leg. It have pretty red hearts on bandage. My human say it not red hearts. He say it blood splotches. I say it red hearts. He say blood splotches. I say red hearts and swish tail. He still say blood splotches. Now he have bandage on other leg with pretty red hearts. He agree now.😹 Here is funnies for today…

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Three couples decided to meet at a local diner for breakfast.  

While they were eating, the first husband looks lovingly at his wife and said to her, “Please pass the honey, honey.”

Well the second husband thinks to himself, I need to step up this game, so he looks at his wife and said, “Please pass the sugar, sugar.”

The third husband starts to panic because he needs to hit his comment out of the park.

So he holds his wife’s hands and looks romantically into her eyes and says, “Please pass the tea…bag. 

AND that’s when the fight started.

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People who do lots of work …  make lots of mistakes.

People who do less work …  make less mistakes.

People who do no work …  make no mistakes.

People who make no mistakes …  get promoted.

So that’s why I spend my time sending funny e-mails at work.  I want a promotion!

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The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

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One of my co-workers got a speeding ticket and was attending a defensive-driving course to have points erased from his license. The instructor, a police officer, emphasized that being on time was crucial and that the classroom doors would be locked when each session began.

Just after one class started, someone knocked on the locked door. The officer opened it and asked, “Why are you late?”

The student replied, “I was trying not to get another ticket.”

The officer let him in.

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KID QUOTES

“Everyone has feelings, except for snakes and principals.” – Donna Maria G, age 9

“Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and the world laughs at you.” – Rob P, age 8

“If life gives you nothing but lemons, make up a better shopping list for it.” – Steven B, age 8

“Doctors automatically know what’s wrong with you. They have a sick sense.” – Betty M., age 10

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My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. I told them you just wait.

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That all for today everyone, have nicest weekend time to you!

Muffin.😽

©2024 Muffin McLeod.