Muffin’s Fun! #72

Hi hi to everyone on this Monday afternoon time!😺 I back once more with some fun funnies for all of you to read and chuckle about! I think that some of them are really quite funny. Me think so anyway. One is very long, so I not say much so you can enjoy funnies more…

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I asked my daughter to give me the phone book.

She laughed at me, called me a dinosaur, and lent me her iPhone.

So the spider is dead, the iPhone is broken, and my daughter is furious.

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Our crazy dogs has been barking way too much lately and I am not a fan of the electric zapping bark collars. I was at my wits end so I purchased one of those so-called humane citronella collars. It is designed so that when the dog barks, it would shoot out a blast of citronella under his nose.

This morning I was getting the collar ready and filled it with the stuff … and that’s where my morning should have ended. But NO! – it’s me, and I begin to become curious as to how said collar works.

I am standing on my porch “barking” at the collar. Nothing happens. I make sure it’s turned on, recheck the fill level, and go through the “getting started” checklist one more time. Again, I bark. Nothing happens.

Now I’m not quite sure *why* I had this next thought, but I did … I put on the collar. I extended the band, fit the growl box against my throat and barked. Apparently, the collar only works if it feels vibrations, because I immediately received a blast of citronella to the face. I began coughing, which only caused the collar to continue to squirt bug juice over and over into my nasal cavity. I am now on my hands and knees gasping for air, and to make matters worse, our dogs are now non-stop barking. So between coughing and yelling at the dogs to stop, I’ve emptied over a dozen blasts of citronella to my face.

During all of this ruckus, I’m trying to undo the clasp of the collar, which has somehow managed to weld shut during this whole fiasco. I finally get the collar off and threw that crazy (inhumane) devilish contraption across the yard! As I am laying on my porch, totally out of breath trying to suck in the cool morning air, I am thinking this is probably the dumbest thing I’ve done in a while.

Then I hear laughter. My neighbor had witness the whole thing. He was belly laughing and in between gasps, he tells me,

“I was going to come over and help, but every time I started toward your house, you’d set it off again and then I would start laughing so hard I couldn’t walk.” So here I am, not only are my eyes red, but my face and ears are too. I came inside to take a shower so I wouldn’t be smelling like ode de’ Tiki Torch, thinking over the lessons learned:

1) Don’t test dog collars on oneself.

2) My neighbor is not a good source of help in a comedic crisis situation.

3) I won’t have any bug problems for a few days.

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If you wanted people to eat something would you name it succotash?

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Why is it at class reunions, you always feel so much younger than everyone else looks?

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That all for today, have great Monday!

Muffin. 😽

©2024 Muffin McLeod.