Muffin’s Fun! #79

Hi, hi everyone!😻 Here I am, back with more fun funnies to help bring laughs to your week! After all, it long week and only half way through. You probably dragging around already and… Okay, I back again. Seems it rained in here and my human say it because I going in wrong direction. Not sure how I go in wrong direction when I just sitting here telling my human what to write and he spill water on my head. He say it accident. I not so sure, but not can prove. But I sure going to watch him close from now on.😾 Anyway, here is funnies for you today…

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It was late at night and Heidi, who was expecting her second child, was home only with her 3-year-old daughter, Katelyn. Heidi started to go into labor and called 911. Due to a power outage in the city at the time, only one paramedic was able to respond to the call.

The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Katelyn to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Katelyn did as she was asked. 

Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his feet, and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry.

The paramedic then thanked Katelyn for her help, and asked the wide-eyed 3-year-old Katelyn what she thought about what she had just witnessed.

Katelyn quickly responded, “He shouldn’t have crawled in there in the first place. Spank him again.”

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When our second child was on the way, my wife and I attended a pre-birth class aimed at couples who had already had at least one child. The instructor raised the issue of breaking the news to the older child.

It went like this: “Some parents,” she said, “tell the older child, ‘We love you so much we decided to bring another child into this family.’ But think about that. Ladies, what if your husband came home one day and said, ‘Honey, I love you so much I decided to bring home another wife.'”

One of the women spoke up immediately. “Does she cook???”

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I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.

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When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?

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Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They crack themselves up.

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Used to being the center of attention, Robbie was a little more than jealous of his new baby sister.

The parents sat him down and said that now that she was getting older, the house was too small and they’d have to move.

“It’s no use,” Robbie said. “She’s crawling good now and she’d probably just follow us.”

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The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

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Well, that all for now, hope you all have a great middle of the week day!

Muffin. 😽

©2024 Muffin McLeod.