Muffin’s Monday Fun! #120

Hi, hi everyone!😻 Meow to cats too! Sorry, I not know how to speak dog. It cloudy, wet and cool day here today. It raining lots overnight and this morning. Maybe not look like it raining now though. Good day for napping. My human go shopping this morning. Nothing funny happened. I ask him what went wrong that everything went right? Just not normal. I tell him to get with the program. Act normal so things go wrong like normal so I have something funny to write about. He just look at me and blink eyes. So I bite back of leg. Oh well, maybe next time he do something funny. Anyway, here is funnies for today…

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My niece, pregnant with her second child, was certain she wanted an epidural for pain management during childbirth.

Her doctor asked her at which stage of labor she wanted the epidural administered.

Her response: “Just meet me in the parking lot!”

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Money may not go as far as it used to, but we have just as much trouble getting it back.

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One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others.

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These comments by police officers were taken off actual police car videos around the country. Thank goodness, in spite of the perils of the job, they still have a since of humor…

> “You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.”

> “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.”

> “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”

> “You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?”

> “Yes sir, you can talk to the Shift Supervisor, but I don’t think it will help.  Oh, did I mention that I’m the Shift Supervisor?”

> “Warning! You want a warning? Okay, I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”

> “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are a drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”

> “Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs, and step in monkey doodoo.’

> “Yea, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”  

“How big were those ‘two beers’ you said you had?”

> “I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours, so you know someone who can post your bail.”

> “You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.”

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Karaoke bars combine two great evils: People who shouldn’t drink and people who shouldn’t sing.

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That all for today everyone, see you again soon!

Muffin. 😽

©2024 Muffin McLeod.