For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
Hi, ho everyone!😻 This is time of year when human people going “ho, ho, ho”. Not sure why though. They fall down lots this time of year because of ice outside. They should be saying “oh, oh, oh!” That would make more sense. My human usually go “ow, ow, ow!” That because he hurting himself when falling on icy sidewalk or parking lot. He do that a lot. Guess that why it called parking “lot”. They should call it sidewalk “lot” too. My human like to fall there too. He say he not like it. But he do it a lot, so must like it. If I not like something, then I not do it. He not like something, but he do it lots. That very hard to understand. Okay, time for funnies now.
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YOU KNOW YOU’RE A BAD COOK WHEN… (someone know my human!😹 )
– You use the smoke alarm as a cooking timer.
– You consider it a culinary success if the pop-tart stays in one piece.
– Your dog goes to the neighbors’ to eat.
– When you barbecue, two of your kids hold water guns and the third stands ready by the phone with 911 on speed-dial.
– Your family automatically heads for the dinner table every time they hear a fire truck siren.
– Your two best recipes are meatloaf and apple pie, but your dinner guests can’t tell which is which.
– You’ve used three boxes of scouring pads, a bottle of Drano, and a crowbar, and that macaroni and cheese still won’t let go of the pan.
– You make tuna noodle surprise and the surprise is that it glows in the dark and melts the silverware.
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The best way to save face is to keep the lower part shut.
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Customer: “Excuse me, but are you looking to hire any help at present?”
Manager: “No, we already have all the staff we need.”
Customer: “Then would you mind getting someone to wait on me?”
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A nursery school teacher was delivering a van full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog’s duties.
“They use him to keep crowds back,” said one youngster.
“No,” said another, “he’s just for good luck.”
A third child brought the argument to a close: “They use the dogs,” she said firmly, “to find the fire hydrant.”
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4 out of 3 people have problems with fractions.
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That all for now everyone, have nice Monday!
Muffin.😽
©2024 Muffin McLeod.
Love the cooking jokes Muffin
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Those are good ones, sound just like my human!😹 Have nice week! 😺
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You too Muffin
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Me thanking you!😻
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