Muffin’s Fun! #126

Hi to everyone out there and Happy Friday to all of you too!😺 My human get up real super early today so he can go do laundry. He make coffee to take with him. Okay so far. Then he go to bathroom, walk into wall and groan. Then he kick my litter box and groan. He come out and kick wheel of laundry cart and groan. He bend down to feel toe and hit head on handle of laundry cart and groan again. He go to kitchen and get coffee to take with him. He put shoes on feet and open door to leave. He forget coffee so come back, hit shoulder on door and groan. He stand there thinking, then shake head and open door to leave. He forget coffee again so come back. He get coffee, open door and leave. He hit shoulder on door frame and groan. He keep on going this time. So nice of him to do all that groaning, which I call human purring, just for me!😻😹 Here is funnies for today…

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CATS & TEENAGERS

For all of you with teenagers or who have had teenagers, you may want to know why they really have a lot in common with cats:

1. Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name.

2. No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed, all humane efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the privilege of waiting on them hand and foot.

3. You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human being, and it can be safely said that no teenager in his or her right mind wants to be seen in public with his or her parents.

4. Even if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno, neither your cat nor your teen will ever crack a smile.

5. No cat or teenager shares your taste in music.

6. Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for hours on end without moving, barely breathing.

7. Cats have nine lives. Teenagers live as if they did.

8. Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same manner, communicating that ultimate human ecstasy — a sense of complete and utter boredom.

9. Cats and teenagers do not improve anyone’s furniture.

10. Cats that are free to roam outside sometimes have been known to return in the middle of the night to deposit a dead animal in your bedroom. Teenagers are not above that sort of behavior.

Thus, if you must raise teenagers, the best sources of advice are not other parents, but veterinarians. It is also a good idea to keep a guidebook on cats at hand at all times. And remember, above all else, put out the food and do not make any sudden moves in their direction. When they make up their minds, they will finally come to you for some affection and comfort, and it will be a triumphant moment for all concerned.

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After starting a new diet, I altered my drive to work to avoid passing my favorite bakery.

But, this morning, I accidentally drove by the bakery and as I approached, there in the window were a host of goodies.

I felt this was no accident, so I thought, if there is a place to park right in front of the bakery, then that will mean I should stop and pick up some goodies.”

And sure enough, on the eighth time around the block, there it was!

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Husband: It says in this article that high fructose corn syrup made me fat.

Wife: That’s ridiculous!

Husband: Okay, Miss know it all, If high fructose corn syrup didn’t make me fat, what did?

Wife: Going back for thirds.

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Press any key…no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!

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That is all for today everyone, have very nice weekend time!

Muffin. 😽

©2024 Steve McLeod.