Muffin’s Fun Time! #1

Hi, hi everyone!😻 I finally back again! Me take nice long break, not that I want to, but my human say it good for me to take break. What that really mean is, my human getting lazy. So, it time for me to start biting legs again. It take a while, but I finally get through to him. Right through to bone. He get message loud and clear. He do the loud part and I hear him nice a clear. So, now I back again. My human now have so many bandages on legs and feet he no longer need to wear socks. Hehehehe!😹 Here is today’s fun time funnies…

PARENT’S DICTIONARY

Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Dad to get up at 2 a.m. also.

Defense: What you’d better have around de yard if you’re going to let de children play outside.

Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.

Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.

Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.

Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can’t quite reach anything.

Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.

Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

Two-minute warning: When the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

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Gina was taking an afternoon nap on New Year’s Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided to Max, her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year’s present. What do you think it all means?”

“Aha, you’ll know tonight,” answered Max smiling broadly.

At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Max approached Gina and handed her a small package. Delighted and excited she opened it quickly.

There in her hand rested a book entitled: “The Meaning of Dreams.”

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That all for today everyone. Since this my first post this year, then I say, Happy New Year!

Muffin. 😽🎆🎇

©2025 Muffin McLeod.