For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
Hi, hi to everyone out there wherever you are!😻 It nice and sunny day here so I busy following my sunshine all over the room.🌞😺 I told my human what I want to say, that way he can keep busy too. My human not too bright sometimes. He kinda like dull bulb in lamp. I need new carpet on my scratching post. My human go shopping and buy carpet piece to replace old carpet piece. But he buy wrong kind. I tell him before what kind I need. He say, “I know that”. Then why he buy this one, my claws get stuck and he have to come rescue me. He not like doing that in middle of night. It cheaper, that why he buy it. But it no good, I tell him. I can see that, he said. So why buy when he know it not good? Store not have right kind, he say. Then better to wait until they do, not buy something he know is no good. Sigh. One of these days he learn. For now he sit and stare at scratching post.😹 Anyway, here is funnies for today…
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Real responses to questions on 5th and 6th grade science tests:
– Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don’t, why you should.
– The cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.
– Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a drop, it does.
– Mushrooms always grow in damp places, which is why they look like umbrellas.
– Momentum is something you give a person when they go away.
– A monsoon is a French gentleman.
– The word “trousers” is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.
– To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.
– When planets run around and around in circles, we say they are orbiting. When people do it, we say they are crazy.
– For asphyxiation, apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.
– Thunder is a rich source of loudness.
– One of the main causes of dust is janitors.
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Man, I had the slowest, rudest, nastiest cashier today. That’s the last time I use the self-checkout lane.
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An English teacher asked her class to write an essay on what they’d do if
they had 10 million dollars. Alec handed in a blank sheet of paper. “Alec!”
yelled the teacher, “you’ve done nothing. Why?”
“Because if I had 10 million dollars, that’s exactly what I would do!”
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Had a slight headache this morning but felt much better after following the
directions on the aspirin bottle: Take two and keep away from children.
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The judge warned the witness, “Do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth?”
“I do.”
“Do you understand what will happen if you are not truthful?”
“Sure,” said the witness. “My side will win.”
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That all I have for today everyone, have great day and a big Meow to all of you!
Muffin. 😽
©2025 Muffin McLeod.
These are all excellent Muffin – well done!
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Me so glad you like them human Sheree!😹 Have very nicest day!😺
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You too Muffin
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Me thanking you so much!😺
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Muffin, I enjoyed my time with this set of Fun Times. Hopefully, the Human will find the proper carpet piece for you scratching post . . . and soon. Those science answers remind me that I should have paid attention in science class. A hearty laugh arrived after reading Alec’s response to his English teacher . . . pure genius!
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Hehehehe!😹 Me so happy you liked funnies today human Richard! Yep, my human laugh out loud at English teacher joke! Have nicest week!😺
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