Muffin’s Fun Time! #13

Hi, hi to everyone!😻 It nice and sunny today and that mean lots of sunshine spots for me to sleep in all day today! It going to be good day for sure. My human go shopping again this morning. He say nothing funny happen to him again. I not believe him. It not possible for nothing to happen again. I think he hiding something from me. And that not nice. He say, no, not hiding something. Me still think he is. Oh well, me find out.😼 Here is funnies for today…

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PERKS OF BEING 50 OR OLDER

Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

No one expects you to run…anywhere.

People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?

There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

Things you buy now won’t wear out.

You can eat supper at 4 pm.

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

Your eyes won’t get much worse.

Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service.

Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

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I’m as swift as a gazelle. An old one. With arthritis. Run over by a Land Rover. Eight days ago.

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The psychiatrist was interviewing a new patient.

“You say you’re here,” he inquired, “because your family is worried about your taste in socks?”

“That’s correct,” muttered the patient. “I like wool socks.”

“But that’s perfectly normal,” replied the doctor. “Many people prefer wool socks to those made from cotton or acrylic. In fact, I myself like wool socks.”

“You DO?” exclaimed the man. “With oil and vinegar or just a squeeze of lemon?”

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You know how they throw the ball into the crowd after winning? They don’t allow that in bowling. I know that now.

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I read a story about a study that tied male obesity to a virus.

One evening my brother came home exhausted from a long day at work.

“Did you see that article?” he asked.

“Yes. I’m not going in to work tomorrow. I’m calling in fat.”

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My mind is like an internet browser. At least 19 open tabs, 3 of them are frozen and I have no clue where the music is coming from.

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That all for today everyone! Have very nice week to you!

Muffin. 😽

©2025 Muffin McLeod.