Muffin’s Fun Time! #16

Hi, hi everyone!😻 Muffin here with more fun funnies for you to enjoy! My human went shopping this morning and he have shopping bags on handle of shopping cart. He pass woman and her shopping cart in narrow aisle and handle of her cart grab my humans shopping bags and she go off with them! She and my human notice right away, plus man walking behind my human. They all have good laugh, except extra man, he have really good laugh. My human tell me it not really that funny. He meet man later in store and man start laughing again when he see my human. My human tell me it not really that funny. I think my human not tell me whole story. If other man laugh that much, something missing in story. Maybe I need to bite leg.😹 I let you know what happen. Here is funnies for today…

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HOW TO KNOW IT’S TIME TO BUY A NEW CAR

~ A car exactly like yours is featured in a display in your local museum.

~ Instead of an airbag, there’s a whoopie cushion taped to your steering wheel.

~ You lose the stop-light challenge to a 14-year-old on a moped.

~ As you drive by, people keep yelling, “Get a horse.”

~ Your emergency brake consists of putting your leg through a hole in the floorboard and dragging your foot on the pavement.

~ When you gas up, the attendant asks, “Can I re-duct-tape that windshield for you?”

~ Replacement running boards just aren’t made like they used to.

~ While waiting at a stop light, people run up asking if anyone was hurt.

~ Police are constantly pulling you over on the interstate to ask why you’re not maintaining the minimum 65 mph (105kph) speed.

~ Traffic reporters are starting to refer to you by name when discussing morning tie-ups.

~ Your gas gauge measures in cubits.

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If I had a quarter for each math exam I’ve failed, I’d have $6.30.

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If your eyes hurt after you drink coffee, take the spoon out of the cup.

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An old cowboy walks into a barbershop for a shave and a haircut.

He tells the barber he can’t get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age. The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.

When he’s finished, the old cowboy tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he’d had in years, but he wanted to know what would have happened if he had accidentally swallowed that little ball. The barber replied, just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does.

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No one should live by the early bird policy until learning whether they classify as a bird or a worm.

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The proprietor of a small village drugstore was called out one sleepy summer morning, leaving the establishment temporarily under the sole management of a very young, and very uneducated, clerk.

“Just answer the phone if it rings, Jim,” instructed the proprietor.

The phone rang.

“Hello,” said the clerk.

“Do you have streptomycin and aureomycin?” asked a voice at the other end.

The clerk scratched his head, then said, “Ma’am, when I said ‘Hello’ I told you everything I know.”

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Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren’t they just stale bread to begin with?

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Well, that all for today everyone. I hope you have great and super Monday all through the week!

Muffin. 😽

©2025 Muffin McLeod.