Muffin’s Funnies! #28

Hi to everyone!😻 It rainy kind of day here today. My human say it cold kinda day too, but I like it. I not like hot days, but I also not like rain days. I like sunshine days! I like to sleep in sunshine on cold days. My human like to sleep in sunshine on hot days. Except he does it at night when it not sunny. He kinda strange that way, always wants to sleep all night. That best part of day, should be awake. So I try to wake him up by jumping on him. I did that last night. It took me four jumps to finally wake him up last night. Terrible. Wasting all night in bed. Daytime is time to sleep, that is when sun shines. Except today. But rainy days are good time to sleep too. So, maybe I go do that after I share some funnies with you!

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A grandmother was giving directions to her grown grandson who was coming to visit with his wife:

“You come to the front door of the apartment complex. I am in apartment 14T. There is a big panel at the door. With your elbow push button 14T. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow hit 14. When you get out I am on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell.”

“Grandma, that sounds easy, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow”?

“You mean you’re coming empty handed?”

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Most of us have a bad habit we are constantly trying to break. For me, it’s biting my fingernails.

One day I told my husband about my latest solution: press-on nails.

“Great Idea, Honey,” he smiled. “You can eat them straight out of the box.”

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I thought I was a good person, but the way I react when people drive slowly in the left lane would suggest otherwise.

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A golfer hooked his tee shot over a hill and onto the next fairway. Walking toward his ball, he saw a man lying on the ground, groaning with pain.

“I’m an attorney,” the wincing man said, “and this is going to cost you five grand!”

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry,” the concerned golfer replied. “But I did yell ‘fore.'”

“I’ll take it,” the attorney said.

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I think NASCAR would be much more exciting if, like in a skating rink, every 15 minutes someone announced it was time to reverse direction.

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I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene.

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I received another letter from some lawyer yesterday. It had “Final Notice” written on the envelope. Good. They won’t be bothering me anymore.

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Well, that all for today everyone, I hope you have great week ahead!

Muffin. 😽 ©2025 Muffin McLeod