Muffin’s Funnies! #31

Hi, hi everyone!😻 I back again to share some fun funnies for friends today! I still not feeling good but I wanted to share some funnies with you all anyway. So, here we go!

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There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years, dirt doesn’t get any worse.

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I went to Magician’s School but flunked the final exam. They were all trick questions.

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I just realized that tofu is overrated. It just a curd to me.

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One Sunday morning when my son, David, was about 5, we were attending a church in our community. It was common for the preacher to invite the children to the front of the church and have a small lesson before beginning the sermon. He would bring in an item they could find around the house and relate it to a teaching from the Bible.

This particular morning, the visual aid for his lesson was a smoke detector. He asked the children if anyone knew what it meant when an alarm sounded from the smoke detector.

My child immediately raised his hand and said, “It means Daddy’s cooking dinner.”

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RULES FOR EDITING

1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat.)
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14. One should NEVER generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.

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Mary announced that she was going to start a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently.

“Great,” Sue exclaimed. “I’m ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. And when I feel the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I’ll call you first.”

“Wonderful,” Mary replied. “I’ll go with you.”

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A large stack of toilet paper fell on me in the supermarket. I’m okay, though, just some soft tissue damage.

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Well, that all for today everyone! I hope you have wonderful and nice week!

Muffin.😽 ©2025 Muffin McLeod.