Muffin’s Funnies! #38

Hi, hi to all of you!😻 It Monday again and it Thanksgiving Day here in Canada country! I very thankful for all of you for coming to read my funnies post each week! I thankful for my food. I thankful for my toys. I thankful for my chair, even though I have to share it with my human. I thankful for my human too, without him, who would I bite and scratch?😹🙄 Well, here are my funnies for today, have fun everyone!

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Middle age is when you still believe you’ll feel better in the morning.

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Two guys came into a restaurant whooping and hollering; excitedly slapping each other on the back as they were getting their food.

The waitress asked what they were celebrating and one of them announced, “I finished a puzzle in only four months!”

The waitress was confused and said, “What’s the big deal?”

The one man joyfully answered, “The box top said ‘2 to 4 years’!”

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I can’t stand it when people repeat themselves pointlessly. I just can’t stand it!

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IN-FLIGHT HUMOR

Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the “in-flight safety lecture,” and their other announcements, a bit more entertaining.
Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

“Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person caught smoking in the lavatories will be asked to leave the plane immediately.”

After landing: “Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.”

“Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children or adults acting like children.”

“As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.”

“Last one off the plane must clean it.”

A flight attendant’s comment on a less than perfect landing: “We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.”

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a “Thanks for flying XYZ airline.” He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady, walking with a cane. She said, “Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?” “Why no Ma’am,” said the pilot, “what is it?” The little old lady said, “Did we land or were we shot down?”

Part of a Flight Attendant’s arrival announcement: “We’d like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you’ll think of us here at US Airways.”

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Men say women should come with instructions. What’s the point of that? Have you ever seen a man read the instructions?

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Last night my wife asked me if I’d seen the dog bowl. I told her, “I didn’t know he could.”

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Well, that all for today everyone, have great day to you! 😽

©2025 Muffin McLeod