Hi everyone! I imagine you were wondering what happened to our fun funnies post. I have been having trouble getting it working properly since Muffin passed away, she always knew how to handle those funny posts, mostly at my expense! I am just not as good as her with getting things started. I am not even as good as Grover the Grackle who handled the funnies post before Muffin. Oh well. But, I have no animal critters to help with this now, so, you’re stuck with me! And here we go…

======

You know that little thing inside your head that keeps you from saying things you shouldn’t? Yeah, I don’t have one of those.

======

Flying through the Midwest in the summer means one thing: turbulence.

I was working as a flight attendant on one particular flight when we hit a patch of very rough air just after a young teen on his first flight had entered the bathroom. After the bumps had subsided, he exited the bathroom, a look of sheer terror etched on his face.

“Are you all right?” I asked. “Don’t worry, that turbulence was as bad as it gets.”

“So that’s what it was,” he said. “I thought I’d pushed the wrong button.”

======

This getting old stuff is really starting to get old.

======

The other day it was my turn to prepare dinner so I asked my wife to go over to the local market and buy some organic vegetables. She came back rather upset.

When I asked her what was wrong she said, “I don’t think I like that produce guy. I went and looked around for your organic vegetables and I couldn’t find any. I asked him where the organic vegetables were. He didn’t know what I was talking about.”

“So I said, ‘These vegetables are for my husband. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?’ He said, ‘No, ma’am. You’ll have to do that yourself.'”

======

You’re getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

======

A guy with a vintage Maserati sports car experienced a breakdown far from home. He knew how to do the repair, but he needed parts.

Calls to auto-supply houses and garages proved futile. Responses ranged from “Mas-a-what?” to “You’ve got to be kidding.” One guy just laughed.

The last name in the local listings was Victor’s Garage. “Vic,” said the guy, “you’re my last hope. Do you carry any parts for a 1982 Maserati?”

There was a long pause. Finally, Victor cleared his throat. “Yes,” he replied. “Oil.”

======

Being a functional adult every single day seems a bit excessive.

======

Don’t ask a girl where she wants to go for dinner. Ask her to guess where you’re taking her to eat, and then take her to her first guess!

======

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally, he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him.

“Pardon me,” she said, “I’m sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It’s just that you look just like my son who just died recently.”

“I’m very sorry,” replied the young man, “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Yes,” she said. “As I’m leaving, can you say ‘Goodbye mother’? It would make me feel much better.”

“Sure,” answered the young man. As the old woman was leaving, he called out, “Goodbye mother!”

As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $227.50. “How can that be?” he asked, “I only purchased four things!”

“Your mother said that you would pay for hers,” said the clerk.

======

Eyelashes are supposed to prevent things from getting into your eyes, but when I do have something in my eye, it’s always an eyelash. Now that is eyeronic.

======

Well, that’s all for this week everyone, but I will be back again next week with more fun funnies for free!

Steve. ©2026 Steve McLeod.