For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
Hi, hi everyone! 😻 It me again, Muffin! My human go shopping this morning again and he say nothing funny happen. This getting bad. He need to learn better and do some funny things so I can tell everyone. He not trying hard enough. Maybe I need to have discussion with my human. He seem to learn faster when we have discussions.😹 Oh well, here are funnies for you today…
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MIND GAMES DOGS PLAY WITH THEIR HUMANS
Part 1
1. After your humans give you a bath, DON’T LET THEM TOWEL DRY YOU! Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry yourself off on the sheets. This is especially good if it’s right before your human’s bedtime.
2. Act like a convicted criminal. When the humans come home, put your ears back, tail between your legs, chin down and act as if you have done something really bad. Then, watch as the humans frantically search the house for the damage they think you have caused. (Note: This only works when you have done absolutely nothing wrong.)
3. Let the humans teach you a brand new trick. Learn it perfectly. Then when the humans try to demonstrate it to someone else, stare blankly back at the humans. Pretend you have no idea what they’re talking about.
4. Make your humans be patient. When you go outside to go ‘pee’, sniff around the entire yard as your humans wait. Act as if the spot you choose to go pee will ultimately decide the fate of the earth.
5. Draw attention to the human. When out for a walk always pick the busiest, most visible spot to go ‘poo’. Take your time and make sure everyone watches. This works particularly well if your humans have forgotten to bring a plastic bag.
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I’m the kind of person who gets more cleaning done in the 30 min before someone comes over than I do in a week.
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A woman answered the phone; it was a salesman calling from a mortgage company.
He: “Do you have a second mortgage on your home?” Â
She: “No.”
He: “Would you like to consolidate all your debts?” Â
She: “I really don’t have any debts.”
He: “How about freeing up cash for home improvements?”
She: “I don’t need any. I just recently had some done and paid cash.”
…brief silence…
He: “Are you looking for a husband?”
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An Illinois man is suing Smart Water for not making him smart. I think I will formally declare my lawsuit against Thin Mints.
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An old man, whose only son was in Long Kesh Prison, didn’t have anyone to dig his garden to plant his potatoes. So he wrote to his son about his predicament.
The son sent the reply, “For HEAVENS SAKE, don’t dig the garden up, that’s where I buried the guns!!!”
At 3 am the next morning, a dozen police officers turned up and dug the garden for 3 hours, but didn’t find any guns.
Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what had happened, asking him what he should do now.
The son sent the reply: “NOW plant the potatoes!”
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This morning in my office a book fell on my head. I have only my shelf to blame.
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That all for today everyone! I hope you all have very nice week!
Muffin. 😽 ©2025 Muffin McLeod.
I was in the clinic for a whole week before Samantha finally said I could leave. She was now satisfied that things were going well. Actually I felt fine after a couple of days, once I woke up. I’m not really sure what exactly Kat did, but I do feel different than before. Kat did tell Jennifer and I this time what she did, but it didn’t help me, though Jennifer understood it. Afterward Jennifer and I were lying on the bed talking. “You didn’t understand Kat, did you,” she said.
“Not a word,” I said, “except for the part where she said that before I was Sky’s twin, now I’m her exact twin, whatever that means.” Jennifer sighed. “You will figure it out one day,” she said giggling. I looked at her. “So you want to giggle?” I asked. That’s when the tickle fight began. And that’s when Sky came walking in and yelled “Tickle fight!” She then jumped on both of us and it became a 3 way tickle fight which I lost. Anyway, things are now back to normal which is nice, that last case kind of tested us a lot. One day I asked Misty where 3 of her team were, I hadn’t seen Laura, Abigail or Coral since getting back home.
She told me that the three of them went to spend time with Coral’s family in Maine when we all split up for a time. Misty had called Coral while I was still in the clinic to let the girls know we were all back together again and Coral had said they had their plane tickets and were leaving in two days. That was 5 days ago and there has been no word from the three girls since. Misty asked if she should phone Coral again, but I told her I would do that. I had been sensing trouble all morning, but it was far away. Now I think this might be the reason. Just then Jennifer came in to the library and sat beside me.
She told me she senses danger far away, so I mentioned about Coral, Abigail and Laura. “That doesn’t sound good Steve,” she said, “call Coral right away and tell her to speak code.” So, that is what I did. Coral answered her phone right away. “Meow, I mean, hi Coral,” I said, “I was…” That was as far as I got when she cut me off. “Steve, I told you before,” she began, “it’s over between us. Why can’t you understand that and accept it. It’s time to move on with our lives, which is what I’m doing now, so please, I don’t want to get angry with you, I just want you to understand, our relationship is over. I am not coming back to you again. The girls and I have decided to stay here and start over. I hope you can live with that.”
“Uh, yeah, I guess,” I said, “if that’s what you really want, but I sure do miss you and love you.” “Steve, stop that now,” she said, “you can find another girlfriend easily enough. But it’s not going to be me again, we are finished, so, good bye.” She then hung up. I had the phone call put on our speaker system throughout the chateau so everyone could hear it. We all know the code, the girls were in trouble and needed help. Next Jennifer called Coral’s mother who was very worried about the girls.
She had not heard from them since Misty had called. That same day they had gone up to see some property with an old house on it that one of Coral’s old high school friends inherited from her uncle 6 months ago. It took until last week for the paperwork to finally get done and transferred to this friend. So, the four of them were going up to look at the place. There is a small village fairly close to this property with a population of about 75.
There is a larger town about half an hour from there which has a nice large lodge just outside of town. It’s made of logs and is very popular with tourists in the summer. Sienna called to see if they had empty rooms available. She told them she would like to bring some employees from one of her companies for a little vacation for a week or two and she needed 12 rooms. That was no problem, only two rooms were rented right now by a couple of young men.
I told Misty, Sky and Kat to get their teams ready to leave and we were soon flying over the ocean once more. I am going along too, though Jennifer is staying home, and Celestine will be my pretend wife this time. She already knows all the rules for this relationship and can act the part very well. We are also bringing 7 of the cats with us, Muffin, Rusty, Tracker, Sunny, Azura, Boots and Sir Night. Each cat brings a different ability with them. I was lying down in the private bedroom on this jet, reserved for Jennifer and I, or my pretend wife and I.
I wasn’t tired, but this long plane trip is somewhat boring, though the girls never seem to find it boring. Anyway, Celestine came in after a while and joined me on the bed. “Something is bothering you, my dear husband,” she said softly, “care to share it?” “It’s part of Coral’s coded message,” I said, “her last sentence. Mixed in the words were, “it’s not…me…we are finished.” “It’s not” means the old house is not what it seems. “Me” means they need my help quickly and “we are finished” means there isn’t much time to help us. That’s why we left so quickly.”
“Why didn’t you tell everyone?” she asked. “I didn’t want everyone worrying about this all the way across the ocean,” I said, “I will let everyone know just before we land.” That is what I did as we came close to the Bangor International Airport and we moved quickly from the jet to the waiting limousine and vans from the Baldwin Corp. We made it to our destination before it got dark, but not by much. We arranged with the owner to have breakfast an hour before it gets light, that way we can move quickly to our next stop. I asked the owner about a lake named Old Lake.
His wife gasped. “You don’t want to go near there,” she said with a terrified look, “people go there and never return!” “Uh, my wife is a bit dramatic,” he said, “but it would be best to stay away from there, the locals don’t like strangers.” I then asked about a specific property. “Used to be an old lodge up there about a hundred years ago,” he said, “nothing now though, don’t know who owns it either.”
“I know the owner and was given permission to look at it,” I said, “maybe I’ll buy the place.” “Your choice,” he said and walked away. “Please don’t take your new wife with you,” said his wife, “it’s no place for such a pretty young thing.” Sienna had told them we were on our honeymoon, so they gave us a special room. I will leave Celestine behind, and a few others too, for backup.
To Be Continued. ©2025 Steve McLeod.