For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
Hi to all you human people out there! It me, Muffin😺, with more fun stuff for you to read today! Me hope you will all like what I pick out for you, so please read and feel free to laugh. If you not like jokes, do not say something, I hurt easy and then my human get sore feet so he hurt easy too. Now you can read humor stuff.
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When I was a girl my momma would send me down to the corner store with $1.00.
I’d come back with 5 potatoes, 2 loaves of bread, 3 bottles of milk, a hunk of cheese, a box of tea, and 6 eggs.
You can’t do that now…too many security cameras.
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When I get to where I’m going, will somebody please tell me where I am?
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Me: {sobbing my heart out, eyes swollen, nose red) “I can’t see you anymore. I am NOT going to let you hurt me like that again!”
Trainer: It was a sit up. You did one sit up.
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Each day I try to enjoy something from each of the four food groups:Â
– The bonbon group
– The salty-snack group
– The caffeine group
– The “What-ever-the-thing-in-the-tinfoil-in-the-back-of-the-fridge-is” group.
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What’s the leading cause of dry skin? Towels.
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One sunny morning a woman shook her retired husband awake.
“How about helping me straighten up the house today?” she asked.
“Why?” he replied, “Is it tilted?”
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A man was shuffling along, bent over at the waist, as his wife helped him into the doctor’s waiting room.
A woman in the office viewed the scene with sympathy. “Does he have arthritis with complications?” she asked.
The wife shook her head. “Do it yourself,” she explained, “with concrete blocks.”
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It is true that light travels faster than sound.
Perhaps that is why some folks appear bright until they speak.
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That all for today human people! Hope you like reading with morning coffee time!
Have nice day, from Muffin.😻
©2023 Steve McLeod.
“Hi daddy!” said Macey, “hope I caught you at a good time.” “There is never a bad time for you to call me,” he said, “now, how is my girl enjoying her new job?” She then began to tell him what had happened. “Whoa girl,” he said, “back up a bit and tell me about this M.” So she told him what they knew, which really was not much. There was silence. “Daddy, are you still there?” asked Macey. “Yeah, I am here,” he said quietly, “you need to stay away from that guy, he is a maniac, a madman.
He is unbelievably cruel, has a temper that just suddenly appears for no reason. He beats people just for fun, and will even kill just for fun, including his own people.” “But daddy,” she said, “we cannot just let him keep Steve and the other girls.” “Wait, he has Steve?” he asked, “and how many of the girls?” “He took four of the girls with Steve,” she said, “and terribly beat 2 other girls. We need to find M quickly and get them free. Do you have any idea where we can find him?”
“If I did he would not be alive right now,” said Major, then he went silent again, “do you remember your sister?” “Yes, she disappeared when I was 10 and she was 12,” said Macey quietly. “I never told you or your mother,” he began, “but we found her shortly after she disappeared.” Then he went silent again. “She had her arms broken, like your Annelie,” he continued, “but she was dead. M had killed her in a fit of rage. We caught some of his men and they told me.”
Macey was crying now, the other girls did not know why however. “Let me talk with Sky,” said the Major. Macey handed the phone to Sky who was in the room with her, along with all the other girls and Benson. The Major then told Sky about his other daughter, then he went silent again. Sky could tell he was crying, so was she at that point. For all his tough exterior, he loved his family. He asked Sky not to mention that he had been crying.
“I will,” said Sky, “but to me you are proving yourself to be a brave man, and wonderful father.” “I will try to help you as much as I can,” he said, “do not, under any circumstance, go anywhere unless your whole team goes. And always go well armed. He likes to use a sleeping gas, it is in glass containers which can be thrown or fired from launchers quite a distance and when they break, a cloud of misty gas explodes and can fill a large room very quickly, within seconds.
Keep your eyes and ears open at all times. Sleep in shifts, keep doors always locked, even when you are awake. Make sure the hospital room where your 2 girls are presently, is very well guarded, inside and out. I will be in touch shortly.” “Thank you Major,” said Sky. Sky told the others what the Major had just told her, except the part about Major crying. The Major had also told Sky to try talking with Mandar again, it might have been the man answering the phone who is to blame, not Mandar.
He told her not to destroy the good friendship they had with Mandar without finding out what really happened. Sky thought about that for a few minutes. She knew that I would do just that, and Mandar, or someone from his office, had been trying to get in touch with her all day. She talked it over with the others and everyone agreed she should phone Mandar again.
“Hello my dear Sky,” said Mandar, “I am so happy that you returned my calls. Please let me explain what happened here.” He then told her how Craig had been working for M, his job was to cause problems between him and our team. That is also why M said he had been working for Mandar. Now came the big news. “M is my son,” he said, “but he is not the son of my wife, but of my girlfriend, before I met Avina.
He is truly a madman, totally unpredictable, he follows no patterns, can suddenly have fits of rage and will seriously beat or kill the first person he sees. He also hates women terribly since they do not pay any attention to him.” That made Sky very nervous wondering if that is why M took the girls, just for his little fun of hurting them.
Meanwhile, back to us. “This is what I want you to do for me,” and he brought out a floor plan of a museum in Germany. “They are showing some of the world’s most beautiful and expensive diamonds,” he said, “and I absolutely adore diamonds, almost as much as eating! But I do not have the expertise to steal them. I do know you can do it though, I have checked your background.”
“Very intelligent,” I said, “it is always wise to check out anyone you want to have work for you.” “Why thank you so much,” he said smiling, “I totally agree with you. I can see we will get along very well.” He then said it was time for bed and we were all led to a very large bedroom with a couple of beds. Then a thought hit me…
To Be Continued.
©2023 Steve McLeod.