For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
Hi, hi and a big meow to all my readers! 😻 I hope you having nice Monday day. It sorta nice here, cloudy, kinda windy and warm. It is 54F (12C) already today and might even get couple more degrees warmer. Then tomorrow it get colder again. My human has been sick lots of days, 10 of them. He think probably he have flu, not cold. Anyway, today he feeling good again, except still coughing a bit. I not like when he cough. It very loud and hurt my ears. 🙀 Sound like he yelling or something. Anyway, here is some funnies for today! 😺
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During a practical exercise at a military police base, the instructor was giving the class instruction in unarmed self-defense.
After he presented a number of different situations in which they might find themselves, he asked a student, “What steps would you take if someone were coming at you with a big, sharp knife?”
The student replied, “Big ones.”
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When my mother was called for jury duty, she felt confident of her ability to answer the questions asked of prospective jurors. As a young attorney, I had filled her in on what to expect.
Asked about the occupations of family members, Mom answered, “My son is a lawyer.”
As a follow-up, she was asked if she had ever used the services of an attorney.
“Only to mow my lawn.”
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Customer on phone: “We need to order some four-by-twos.”
Lumber clerk: “You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?”
Customer: “Let me check …” <silence> “… Yeah, I meant two-by-fours.”
Clerk: “All right. How long do you need them?”
Customer: “I’d better go check …” <silence> “… A long time. We’re gonna build a house.”
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A thief almost got away with stealing several famous paintings!
He managed to smuggle the artwork past security, but was captured only two blocks away when his minivan ran out of gas.
When a reporter asked how he could mastermind such a crime and yet make such an obvious error, he replied:
“Monsieur, I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.”
(Bet you thought I lacked de Gaulle to tell a story like that!)
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I walked into doctor’s office and said, “I’ve hurt my arm in several places.”
The doctor replied, “Well, don’t go to those places any more.”
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I have a million-dollar figure — but it’s all loose change.
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Heard a rumor about peanut butter, but I don’t want to spread it.
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Well, that all for this Monday, I really hope you all have nicest day!
Muffin. 😽 ©2025 Muffin McLeod.
Papa Levi and four of his men had just gone out to his car after breakfast when 2 shots were fired and 2 of Levi’s men fell dead instantly. Now, who was it? I had instructed our team to do nothing about Papa Levi or the ambassador without my express permission. We didn’t need more trouble on our hands. Unfortunately, the police automatically thought our team had done the shooting, so, they once again arrived at our chateau and took away all the guns, and knives, from the girls.
I had told them not to resist, just surrender the weapons that they came for that day. They also cancelled our gun licenses plus our license to operate as private investigators. That means we are effectively out of business. Can this get any worse for us? Well, they also took all of our computers and phones, for evidence purposes apparently. That was okay though, I had already told the girls to get rid of our real computers and phones and replace them with decoys.
Our computer girls are still at work in our safe room, something the police don’t know about. They also tried to take our jets and helicopters, however, Sienna reminded them that they were owned by the Baldwin Corp., not by us. She had already moved the helicopters to Baldwin Corp. property, just in case. They also tried to seize the two limousines on our property, but one is owned by Sienna and the other is owned by Mandar. However, they did seize Mandar’s car.
Mandar had already come out of hiding and was questioned by the police, but they didn’t do anything to him. He also ordered them to return his car, which they did. Back to Papa Levi and his 2 men being shot. Levi and the other 2 guards managed to run back inside the hotel where they were met by several well dressed men who invited them into the restaurant for coffee. Papa Levi declined, but the one man insisted and his friends pulled out guns and quickly took the guns from Levi and his guards. Then they went for coffee.
“You will just be making things worse for Steve,” said a smug Papa Levi, “this is a stupid move on your part.” The head man laughed. “He thinks we work for that PI,” said Brando. Now the other men laughed too. “You are the stupid one,” said Brando to Levi, “you think coming into our territory would go unnoticed? We know what goes on in our territory and you are not welcome. We did not invite you and you did not ask for permission to come here. You are definitely the stupid one.” “Look, I’m not here to fight with you,” said Papa Levi, “I’m here to retrieve something that belongs to me and that PI has it and won’t give it back. Once I get that from him, then I will leave.”
“No, Mr. Papa Levi,” said Brando, “you will leave today, tomorrow will be too late. Oh, I am not afraid of your little ambassador friend, I will kill him as easily as I would kill you. Do you get the message?” “Yeah, I get the message,” he said, “but my friends back home will not like this and you will have to deal with them next.” “I am not afraid of anyone who dares come into my territory,” said Brando, “my friends and I will deal with them, if they make it this far. You tell your friends to stay at home.” Then Brando and his men got up and left.
Papa Levi and his men went back up to their room and called the ambassador, telling him what had happened. The ambassador didn’t like that, but he was convinced that I had something to do with this, so he decided to make a trip to see his friend in the government. His car was brought around to the front door of the embassy. The ambassador and two bodyguards came out and the driver was there to open the door for the ambassador. But, just as the ambassador arrived at his vehicle, there were two shots. His driver and one of his bodyguards fell to the ground, dead.
The ambassador and his bodyguard ran quickly back inside the embassy. He then called his “friend” in the government to complain about what had just occurred. The mystery government friend didn’t like this at all and he also thought I must be behind these shootings, so he would look into it immediately. Soon the guards were taking me to the interrogation room for more questioning. I repeatedly said that my team had nothing to do with it and we were going to handle this problem legally. After 3 hours they finally took me back to my cell. The next day the ambassador arrived to visit with me.
He laid out a deal with me, freedom for Jennifer and I if the emerald was given to him. I told him that was not good enough since I could be arrested again once he had the emerald. “Besides,” I said, “I don’t have the emerald anymore. Since the police had taken all the guns away from my team, a criminal organization had come along and taken the emerald from them. Since he and his men had guns, there was not much my team could do to stop them. So, your plan backfired just a bit because now someone else has the code unlocking the hiding place of all that gold and the other jewels.”
I just sat there smiling at him. I could see the anger burning in his face after I said that. “Then you will spend a lot of time in prison,” he finally said. He then called for the guard to let him out. He had actually come to my cell for this visit so we could talk privately. Well, it has now been 2 weeks in jail and it has been rather boring. They are keeping me in solitary confinement. Mandar and Sienna were getting a bit upset by now and they finally got an appointment to see the president. They presented our case to him but at first he wasn’t sure how he could intervene on our behalf.
Mandar and Sienna reminded him that between them they hold a great deal of wealth, plus owning a very large portion of the western world’s companies and contracts, including military related contracts. Mandar told him that we can’t sit idly by and let criminals tell us what to do. The president agreed, but he was concerned about who in the government was working with the Belarus government, because that was a very serious matter indeed.
Sienna then gave a folder to the president detailing phone calls from the prime minister to the Belarus ambassador, plus photos of the two together in various upscale restaurants and clubs in different parts of Paris and a couple other cities. Plus there were bank deposit records where regular, and sometimes very large, deposits were made in the prime ministers private bank account. It is quite possible this man is also selling state secrets and needs to be stopped.
“Please remember, Mr. President,” said Mandar, “it was not long ago that Steve and the Investigators risked their lives and stopped an assassination on your life. Now they need your help.” He thanked them for bringing this to his attention and he would work on it right away, but it still may take a little time. Mandar and Sienna then left, Mandar heading home to London and Sienna went back to the chateau. But soon after she arrived home, the police returned with more arrest warrants…
To Be Continued. ©2025 Steve McLeod.