For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
Hi, hi to all of you!😻 It Monday again and it Thanksgiving Day here in Canada country! I very thankful for all of you for coming to read my funnies post each week! I thankful for my food. I thankful for my toys. I thankful for my chair, even though I have to share it with my human. I thankful for my human too, without him, who would I bite and scratch?😹🙄 Well, here are my funnies for today, have fun everyone!
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Middle age is when you still believe you’ll feel better in the morning.
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Two guys came into a restaurant whooping and hollering; excitedly slapping each other on the back as they were getting their food.
The waitress asked what they were celebrating and one of them announced, “I finished a puzzle in only four months!”
The waitress was confused and said, “What’s the big deal?”
The one man joyfully answered, “The box top said ‘2 to 4 years’!”
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I can’t stand it when people repeat themselves pointlessly. I just can’t stand it!
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IN-FLIGHT HUMOR
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the “in-flight safety lecture,” and their other announcements, a bit more entertaining.
Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
“Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person caught smoking in the lavatories will be asked to leave the plane immediately.”
After landing: “Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.”
“Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children or adults acting like children.”
“As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.”
“Last one off the plane must clean it.”
A flight attendant’s comment on a less than perfect landing: “We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.”
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a “Thanks for flying XYZ airline.” He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady, walking with a cane. She said, “Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?” “Why no Ma’am,” said the pilot, “what is it?” The little old lady said, “Did we land or were we shot down?”
Part of a Flight Attendant’s arrival announcement: “We’d like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you’ll think of us here at US Airways.”
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Men say women should come with instructions. What’s the point of that? Have you ever seen a man read the instructions?
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Last night my wife asked me if I’d seen the dog bowl. I told her, “I didn’t know he could.”
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Well, that all for today everyone, have great day to you! 😽
©2025 Muffin McLeod
I decided we did enough for one day, time to let people think about things now and then tomorrow we can try again. Hiding those listening devices at Dan’s house was good, we got to hear some things that, frankly, surprised me. I don’t think that Dan killed Jacie, but I’m still not sure about Barry. However, if he was right and she was bringing in so much money, and he loves making money, then why would he kill Jacie? That really doesn’t make sense, I mean, she made a lot of money for them this year.
However, maybe she wanted out and that didn’t go over good with Barry, an argument could have taken place and he ended up killing her without planning to at the beginning. That’s just a theory of mine though, which doesn’t mean anything. Before dinner we did go down to the river where Jacie’s body was supposedly found and we looked around the area quite thoroughly. I’m not really sure what we were looking for though.
“Would it be necessary for someone to beat Jacie with his fists?” asked Celestine. “No, not necessarily,” said Samantha, “but if it was Dan or Barry, they are definitely strong enough to beat her with their fists. If someone was weaker, they could use a heavy stick, or even a round rock. It’s hard to tell from the photos, looking at the body would have told a lot more.” “And that is why they cremated the body so quickly,” I added, “so we couldn’t tell so easily.”
“Yes, that’s what I was thinking,” said Celestine. “You are thinking a lot more than that, my Queen,” I said, “care to share some more?” “Um, not really right now,” she said, “maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.” “Never be afraid to speak up and tell us what you think,” said Misty, “even a small thought can produce large results.” I could see that Celestine was shivering, it was rather cold by the river. “Come, my Queen,” I said, “perhaps we should head back to the car.”
She then held out a round rock to me, that fit her hand nicely, and she pointed to a spot on it. I then showed it to Samantha. “Looks like blood to me,” she said, “Jacie did have a scrape on her one cheek. I will check this out later.” We had our limousine, plus the other girls were in a van behind us. It wasn’t long and Misty, who was in the van, called us and said we were being followed. I told them to take a different way back to the hotel and we will see which of us they want to follow.
So, at the next street they turned and we kept going straight. The car behind us continued with us. “Me Fluffy, me say car follow us, want to lose them?” “Yes Fluffy, lose them please,” I said. Suddenly the car sped up very quickly and off we went! Fluffy was in control of speed and he kept giving directions to Sherry. All she had to do was steer the car and she seemed to be enjoying her part. The rest of us, however, were not quite as excited.
“Yeehaah!” yelled Sherry, “This is Stampede city and we’re gonna give them a horse race!” “Um, just get us back to the hotel in one piece, please,” I said. “I need to learn to drive like this!” exclaimed Celestine. I looked at her. “Then you won’t be a queen of mine,” I said. “Awwww!” she pouted. Then on one turn, we turned right around in a circle and off we went down a certain street. “Uh, Fluffy,” I said, “we are going down a one way street the wrong way.” “Ooopsy, Fluffy make mistake, make correction at next street, go faster first.”
I didn’t know we could go any faster, but apparently we could. And did. We turned down the next street, just in time, but the car behind us ended up in a parking lot and smashed into 2 parked cars. Good thing they were empty. Fluffy slowed down and gave control back to Sherry again so we made it back to the hotel without any further problems. The van was quite a bit behind us, but they quickly joined us in the restaurant for dinner.
Interestingly, Lionel Kenwood was also in the restaurant having his dinner, with 3 companions, one being a woman. I didn’t recognize any of them though, so I took some pictures and sent them back to Melody, as she was our computer person right now. She got back to me within a few minutes saying the woman was Ivy Hendrick. She is from Vancouver and is a millionaire. She is single and 30 years old, with wavy brown hair down past her waist. She is also very beautiful.
Now that we can see Kenwood clearly, he is probably 40 to 45. Melody confirmed his age at 46 and has been married 3 times, though not presently. Could Ivy be his new girlfriend? If so, they certainly didn’t act like it. Apparently Ivy inherited her wealth and she is also very good at investing and makes a lot of money that way too. Melody said the other two men are likely Kenwood’s bodyguards. Kenwood seems to like keeping an eye on us, I wonder why? Somehow I think he has something to do with Jacie’s murder, but how is he connected?
The night passed quietly, which is always nice, and after breakfast we went to the office where Jacie worked, to have a talk with Harold. I had already phoned ahead and made sure it was okay with Harold’s boss. He said it would be no problem and he also said that he had been expecting the police to interview Harold due to his behavior with Jacie, but they never showed up. That is very strange, in a good police investigation they would definitely have checked him out.
Anyway, we arrived at the office and first went to Harold’s boss and he brought us over to see Harold. He also told us there was an empty office we could use, so that is where we took Harold. This morning I had Kitty, Emerald, Misty and Monika with me.
Sherry and Brandy stayed in the car as usual. And, as usual, Kenwood drove slowly past. Though this time the girls could see Ivy in the car too, though she wasn’t looking their way, she appeared to be looking at her phone. Meanwhile, “Those Investigators are here now,” said the text, “I don’t like it.” “Don’t worry,” the reply came, “we give them Harold, they will go away.”
To Be Continued. ©2025 Steve McLeod.