For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
Hi everyone and welcome back to more fun and laughs, plus perhaps a groan or two. It is a bit cooler today, but the sun is shining so brightly that it still feels so nice. My plants are loving that sunshine as well, so it will likely get them popping with some new growth. Many are already into spring mode, growing new stems and leaves a bit earlier than expected, so I am real happy with that. Anyway, here are today’s fun funnies for you to enjoy!
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An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: “Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist.”
Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.
Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all.
His answer consisted of two words: “What chair?”
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Friend’s Facebook post: I finally lost my mind. If found, do not bother to return it. It wasn’t working anyway.
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Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool. Her granddaughters set theirs on the window sill to thaw.
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“Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 40-minute flute solo.”
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The interviewer examined the job application then turned to the prospective employee.
“I see you have put ASAP down for the date you are available to start, meaning as soon as possible, of course. However, I see you’ve put AMAP down for required salary. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen that before, what does it mean?”
The applicant replied, “As Much as Possible!”
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Sometimes before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer – my nappetizer.
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We know we’re over 50 when we have upstairs and downstairs aspirin/Tylenol.
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When I was a newly commissioned Lieutenant in the Army, I was assigned as a temporary assistant in an administrative office in a Military Intelligence unit. One day, a long form came around with a cover sheet instructing all assigned officers to read it and initial it as indication of their compliance. I figured it meant me too, so I read and initialed it.
However, a few days later, it came back addressed specifically to me. An attached note read: “You are not permanently assigned to this unit and are thus not an authorized signee. Please erase your initials and initial your erasure.”
So I did.
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In the office, don’t ask difficult questions after 4 pm on Friday.
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There are II types of people in this world. Those who understand Roman numerals and those who do not.
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Well, there we have it for today. Enjoy your week everyone and God bless!
Steve. ©2026 Steve McLeod
Sky and myself were about to go and confront Mr. Swann about these cameras but Jazzy stopped us. “It might be better not to say anything just yet Steve,” she said, “if we want to pay a visit to Swann’s house tonight.” “Hmm, you might be right about that,” I said, “but he’s going to know we found his cameras so he is going to disconnect his computer from the cameras. So, now we can’t prove it was him.” “You still couldn’t prove it is him,” said Jazzy, “you can’t force your way into his house and look on his computer without a search warrant. You will just get yourself in trouble.”
“You’re right, I’m not thinking at all,” I said, “perhaps I will go back to the hotel and get some extra sleep for tonight.” “You’re not thinking about going over there, are you?” asked Celestine. “Well, yes, I was going over with the ghosts and cats,” I said. “Not a good idea, my dear husband,” she said, “we will stay behind and sleep, the ghosts can do this by themselves, right?” “That takes all the fun out of it,” I said, sighing. However, I knew she was right, I have to make sure I don’t take too many chances, after all, that drawing was meant as a warning of some kind for me.
The surveyor and his helper returned this morning and surveyed Elenore’s property while I, along with Sky and Angel, were out there watching them. When they finished he told me that everything was just fine, but he couldn’t understand why Swann wanted this property since he couldn’t really do much with it. “That’s okay, I don’t really understand it either,” I said. He then went over to Swann’s house for a while and we went inside for lunch, Elenore insisted we eat lunch with her today. While eating, there was a knock at the door so I went to answer it, with Sky beside me.
It was Swann, which didn’t really surprise me. He tried to give me the bill for having Elenore’s property surveyed. “You wanted it surveyed, not Elenore,” I said, “so that means you pay the bill, end of discussion.” I then slammed the door in his face. “YES!” said Sky, “That’s the way to do it my dear twin brother!” After lunch I took Friskie, Kitty, Misty, Brandy, Valeria and Sigrid and we went for a drive around town. Friskie was driving and I soon understood why Jennifer picked her to be the driver.
Oh, we also had our favorite mechanical cat with us, Fluffy. He has a detailed map of this town in his brain, which is good, that way Friskie can concentrate on driving. “Me Fluffy, me say we being followed by gray car.” “I thought we were being followed,” said Friskie. “Turn right down the next street,” I told her, “then drive slow like we’re looking for something.” She did so and the car behind us slowed down as well. When she stopped at the stop sign, the other car pulled up fairly close. “Fluffy, black smoke, then drive fast back to the hotel taking the scenic route please,” I told him.
“Me Fluffy, smoke time! Drive fast too!” With that a hole opened up at the back of our car and a huge plume of black smoke puffed out at the car behind us and we began to drive, fast! Friskie was following Fluffy’s directions and tires were squealing as she turned corners! “Fluffy, if you see the police, please slow down immediately,” I said. “Fluffy hear Mr. Steve.” We made it back to the hotel without seeing that car again. The rest of the afternoon we got everything ready for our plans for tonight and after dinner Sky showed up with Angel and Kitty. We then went over what I wanted them to do and off they went.
After they were gone I asked Misty to make some tea or coffee for us. “We’re all out of both,” she said. Friskie then tried to call room service but our phone still was not working. It hasn’t been working the whole time we have been here even though the manager said he was going to have it fixed. “Misty, would you please go get us some coffee,” I asked nicely, “and take some of the other girls with you.” “Now I know why you wanted me to stay here,” she said, “you just want a gopher. Go fer this, go fer that.” She was still talking as she went out the door.
“I’m going to shower,” said Celestine, and off she went. Misty was waiting by the elevator and finally the doors opened and four men got off. Before Misty got on the elevator, one of the men told her she was very beautiful. Misty stopped and smiled, but also turned a bit red. Then suddenly that man began to hit her extremely fast and finally threw her, head first against the wall and she fell to the floor. He then kicked her twice in the stomach.
The girls in the next room were busy talking, but stopped. “Did you hear that?” asked Sigrid. The other girls said no, but they all stayed quiet for a few moments, but they heard nothing more, so they continued talking. Sir Night was with the girls too because he wanted to spend some time with the other cats before bed. Then something caught his attention, he thought he heard something too this time, so he went to the door and sniffed.
“EEEEEEK!” and he began scratching at the door! The girls were out into the hallway quickly now, with guns out and they saw Misty lying on the floor. Then they went to our door and knocked, but there was no answer, so they pounded on the door and Celestine answered with gun ready, but she was very relieved to see the girls. However, she didn’t like it when they carried Misty in and laid her on the bed. She didn’t even know that Friskie and I were gone, she had just gotten out of the shower.
She pressed the silent alarm and Sky and Angel arrived right away. “How could anyone take Steve and Friskie?” asked Celestine. Angel tried to communicate with me, but there was no answer. “Now what Sky?” she asked. “Well, I need to get Misty back to the clinic,” said Sky, “so I will let Jennifer and Kat know what happened.” She then took Misty’s hand and they disappeared, showing up at the clinic, but no one was around, so Sky pressed the clinic alarm. “Alert, clinic injury, Alert, clinic injury!”
That got Samantha and Bridgette running from their rooms since it was 4am there. Kat and Jennifer ran to the clinic as well realizing it must have been one of us. Several of the girls showed up too, just in case it was one of the girls on guard duty that had been injured. Then the alert went out, “Code Red, L1 Down!” That got all of the girls out of bed quickly. “Sky, take me back with you,” said Jennifer. “Sis, we can’t just jump in to help every time,” said Kat, “they can handle things without us.” Jennifer just stood there looking at Kat.
“Except this time, of course,” said Kat. Then she spoke to the everyone at the chateau saying that Dawn was in charge. Sky also asked about her team and Kat said that would be okay, but her and Jennifer first. Off they went and then Sky began building up her frequent flyer points again until her whole team was here. Kat had booked rooms for the new girls while Sky was busy flying back and forth. Angel reminded Jennifer that Celestine is supposed to be my wife and it might get confusing to change things right now.
Jennifer agreed and she will just be one of the girls. Then she went over to comfort Celestine who was feeling very badly about what happened. Meanwhile, “Why did you bring his wife?” asked the man. “She said where her husband goes, she goes, so we brought her along,” said the other man. “Well, maybe it will work out better this way,” he said…
To Be Continued. ©2026 Steve McLeod.