For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
Hi to everyone out there!😻 It big 3 0 time! I like getting to big stones with miles, it very exciting for me. I was out on balcony room with my human this morning, it fun out there. Especially when my human step on something when he just have bare feet. Then he jump and dance all over balcony room, but sometimes get too close to edge and that scary sort of even though there is big steel railing along edge and security net that cover front of balcony room so he not can fall off edge. I think. Anyway, not want to test theory, might not work. So, here is funnies for you for today!
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A LETTER FROM A COUNTRY BUMPKIN AT BOOT CAMP:
Dear Ma & Pa:
Am well. Hope you are. Tell brother Walt & Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile.
Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt & Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so bad, they git warm water.
Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc….but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food. But tell Walt & Elmer you can always sit between two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon, when you get fed again. It’s no wonder these city boys can’t walk much.
We go on “route” marches, which the Drill Instructor says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different. A “route march” is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks. The country is nice, but awful flat. The Drill Instructor is like a schoolteacher. He nags some. The Capt. is like the school board. Majors & Colonels just ride around & frown. They don’t bother you none. This next will kill Walt & Elmer with laughing.
I keep getting medals for shooting. I don’t know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk and don’t move. And it ain’t shooting at you, like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don’t even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes. Be sure to tell Walt & Elmer to hurry & join before other fellers get into this setup & come stampeding in.
Your loving daughter,
Gail
P.S. Speaking of shooting, enclosed is $200 towards a new barn roof & ma’s teeth. The city boys shoot craps, but not very good.
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A careful study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.
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A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns. I soon realized that toucan play that game.
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Our business professor was lecturing about different ways to bill customers. He asked, “Who can give me an example of a system where you are billed before you actually receive your goods?”
One student piped up, “Tuition!”
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While at the movies recently, I couldn’t hear the dialogue over the chatter of the two people sitting in front of me.
Finally I tapped one of them on the shoulder. “Excuse me,” I said, “I can’t hear.”
“I should hope not! This is a private conversation.”
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Well, that all for today everyone! I hope you all have very nicest week!
Muffin. 😽 ©2025 Muffin McLeod.
I am still with my kidnappers and something is wrong. I have been trying to communicate with Jennifer, or Kat or Sky or someone, but I get no answer. That can only mean I’m not getting through to them for some reason, and that is not good. That kind of spoils my plan for allowing myself to get kidnapped so we can find out what is going on.
Now my team will lose track of me and it won’t be easy to find me. After all, they could have taken me anywhere. Although, we did put a tracker on their car, so, if that is working then they will know where we are. If it is working. But what if there is something in this car that is preventing me from communicating? It might also prevent that tracker from working over long distances, and no one is supposed to follow us.
Well, it seemed like a good plan at the time. We are now driving through Paris late at night, though I don’t know exactly how late, these guys won’t tell me the time. They just keep saying I’ll find out when we see Jacques, whoever he is. Obviously he is the leader of this mismanaged bunch. Sometimes I think they are working against each other.
At least I still have the use of my abilities, so I could escape if things get bad. I must ask Kat why I could feel those punches. At first, at Eloise’s flat I was pretending they affected me, but in the car they really did affect me. Hmm, I wonder if it is this car that does something to me. But, my electrical ability still worked fine. Oh well, I won’t worry about it right now.
I imagine Jennifer is worried right now though, especially if she has been trying to communicate with me. Hey, we’re stopping in this parking lot and there are two vans waiting for us. Identical vans. That means they want to fool anyone who might be following us. Except no one is following. But now we won’t have a tracker on them either. Hmm, if they take me outside, I will try calling Sky.
Meanwhile, with Sherry and friends. “They are stopping beside those two vans,” said Jackie, “that means they want to try and fool us. But how do they know we are following?” “It’s just in case someone is following,” said Sherry, “they put Steve in one of those identical vans, then the vans head in different directions.”
Back with us again. “Get out here PI man,” said Emilien, “your time with us is over.” I got out, looked up and said, “Sky.” “You called me Steve?” said Sky as she appeared next to me smiling. “Hey, where did she come from?” asked Andre. A big man then grabbed me and literally threw me into one of the vans! But suddenly a huge lion came running up to the van and pushed it over!
I then came jumping out just as that big man began to run away, so I tossed a lightning ball at him. He screamed and fell to the ground, dead. Sky, Sherry and Jackie were taking care of the other men, but a couple men took off in the other van. I tossed another lightning ball, a bit bigger this time, and it hit the van causing it to explode.
We could now hear sirens approaching so we all went to our car, which became invisible just before the first police arrived at the scene. We stayed and watched but Angel decided to hang out with the police for a while, invisible of course, to hear what she could from the police. Through her I could also hear what was going on, something that is necessary, just in case any of these police officers are working with the criminals.
However, from what we could hear, everything was okay, so I called Angel back to us and we drove away. Once far enough away from the action, Angel made the car visible again. Sky then filled me in on this man named Jacques, who is not a very nice guy.
Meanwhile, back home. Misty comes into the library and salutes Jennifer. “Request permission to take my team and go help rescue Steve,” said Misty. “Permission denied,” said Jennifer, “and stop saluting me please.” “But I need to do something to help Steve, I can’t just sit around and do nothing all night worrying about him not knowing if he is alive or alive or where he is or what is happening to him or if he’s being tortured or beat up or starved or…
(this went on for quite a while, making it her longest sentence on record, according to Cristy)…and I can’t just sit and bite my nails and worry and pull my hair and bang my head against the wall and I’ll just go crazy!” “I think you have already arrived,” said Jennifer, “but I need you and your team here for security. Now, if I give you an order that will help Steve and all of us, would you obey it?”
“Of course I would, right away, even sooner!” said Misty smiling. “Good, I hereby make you the leader while I go and lie down and try to sleep for a while,” said Jennifer, “you will not disturb me for any reason, got it?” “Yes Jennifer, I can do that, for sure!” she said happily. Then Jennifer went off to bed. Misty sat down. “Cristy, how come the ghosts get tired and need to sleep?” asked Misty.
“I have no idea,” she replied, “I’m not a ghost.” “Oh, right,” she said, “I was just wondering.” “I’m going to bed too,” said Cristy. “Wait, you can’t, we need you on the computer,” said Misty, “besides, I’ll be all alone.” Cristy called Tracy to take her place, then she went to bed. “Hey, Steve is calling!” exclaimed Tracy, “He was rescued!” “Yes!” yelled Misty, “I knew we could do it!”
Meanwhile, at the hotel where they were keeping Clarisse. Everyone was sleeping peacefully, or at least, that’s what Clarisse thought. She got up and dressed, then she went for the door quietly. But, Kristina was there and was only pretending to be asleep. “Going somewhere Clarisse?” asked Kristina. Clarisse then tried to punch Kristina, but she was barely phased by the hit.
Then she turned on the lights and pushed Clarisse onto the bed. The lights woke up the other two girls who asked what was going on. “It seems Clarisse was going out for a midnight stroll somewhere,” said Kristina, “now, tell us why Clarisse.” “I don’t have to tell you anything,” she said coldly…
To Be Continued. ©2025 Steve McLeod.