For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
Hi, hi to everyone today and a big Meow also!😻 My human go shopping this morning. I ask him what happen. He say nothing much. oooo, must be something good happen. I ask again. He say he go to checkout person and she say closed now, so he have to go to different one with big lineup, but nothing much happen. I ask again, but he say need to wait while he make list. Maybe he write post of adventures shopping. oooo, must be some good stuff. I ask when he write post. He say he not know. I swish tail.😾 His eyes get big. TOMMORROW! He say, I write it tomorrow! That better. 😹 You hear it here first for first time. Now for some fun funnies for today!
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A man entered a pet shop, wanting to buy a parrot. The shop owner pointed out three identical parrots on a perch and said, “The parrot to the left costs $500.”
“Why does that parrot cost so much?” the man wondered.
The owner replied, “Well, it knows how to use a computer.”
The man asked about the next parrot on the perch.
“That one costs $1,000 because it can do everything the other parrot can do, plus it knows how to build websites.”
Naturally, the startled customer asked about the third parrot.
“That one costs $2,000.”
“And what does that one do?” the man asked.
The owner replied, “To be honest, I’ve never seen him do a thing, but the other two call him boss.”
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Those who get too big for their britches, are sure to be exposed in the end.
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A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns. I soon realized that toucan play that game.
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RULES FOR EDITING PART 1
1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat.)
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments. 11. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14. One should NEVER generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
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I went to Magician’s School but flunked the final exam. They were all trick questions.
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There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years, dirt doesn’t get any worse.
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Sometimes you might feel like no one’s there for you. But you know who’s always there for you? Laundry. Laundry will always be there for you.
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A man has to attend a large convention in Chicago. On this particular trip he decides to bring his wife. When they arrive at their hotel and are shown to their room, the man says, “You rest here while I register. I’ll be back within an hour.”
His wife lies down on the bed. Just then, an elevated train passes by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she’s thrown out of the bed.
Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down once more. Again a train shakes the room so violently, she’s pitched to the floor.
Exasperated, she calls the front desk and asks for the manager. The manager says he’ll be right up. The manager (naturally) is skeptical, but the wife insists the story is true.
“Look, lie here on the bed. You’ll be thrown right to the floor!” the woman says.
So he lies down next to the wife. Just then the husband walks in.
“What are you doing here?” the husband asks.
The manager replies, “Would you believe I’m waiting for a train?”
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Well, that all for today everyone. I hope you all have great week!
Muffin. 😽 ©2025 Muffin McLeod.
After discovering that Percival and his friends were looking at a huge safe, I told Sky to continue with her original plan of destroying the fake smoke detectors. However, I asked her to try and save one so we can take it home with us and examine it. Maybe we can find a way to protect ourselves from it’s sound waves. So, back upstairs they went and Sky took one of the sound wave machines down, then she sent a big shot of electricity through the wires which went to all the other machines.
They snapped and zapped, making very loud noises and sent horrible smelling smoke out of those machines! The noise brought Percival and his friends upstairs and he yelled for his friends to get out quick! They all ran outside, got in their car which was at the back and left in a hurry. Sky communicated all of this with me and mentioned that the real smoke detectors were not working. That was probably a good thing, we don’t want to attract attention to the house right now or the authorities might find that safe too soon. I would like to catch some fish with that safe first, perhaps even Koffman.
I then went over to talk with Yves and see how he is doing. Kat was busy doing her part. “This doctor of yours is different than other doctors I have seen,” he said. “She is very pretty,” I admitted. Yves chuckled at that one. “No, no,” he said, “I thought she was going to come in and sew up the wound, instead she puts a towel over the area and rubs it. Feels kinda strange, warm and tingly.” “Well, do you want that wound to heal,” I asked, “or get infected?” “Oh, I’m not complaining,” he said, “uh, but my wife was sort of curious about this method.”
“That’s one reason why I came here to check on things,” I said, “it might seem odd, but Kat knows what she is doing. It’s not your traditional medical method, it’s more of a natural type of remedy and it sure works great. She has used it on me many times, I highly recommend it.” “Yes, since she let me be here and watch,” said Josephine, “then I thought it would be okay. I wouldn’t normally let a woman massage my husband. But why the towel so we can’t see what is happening?”
“It needs to be kept at the right temperature,” said Kat, “so the towel helps with that.” “Oh, yes, that would make sense,” she acknowledged. “Yves, do you know what is in that big safe at Mary’s house?” I asked. “Yep, mostly gold from a heist about 12 years ago,” he said, “Mary was the mastermind behind that heist and also another from about 15 years ago which was all gems, mainly rubies, emeralds and sapphires. I heard they were among the best quality stones anywhere. There are also some diamonds in there too. Mary was always the one to look after the big jobs, she planned everything precisely.”
“What about that jewelry we took from Francois’ safe?” I asked. “I have no idea where that stuff came from Steve,” he said, “but here is something else for you. It was Bernadette that killed Mary’s husband, because he wouldn’t give her the attention she wanted. He was older than Bernadette, but apparently very handsome. He didn’t know that Mary was involved in the criminal world. Bernadette took care of the most important hits, she always knew the best method to use. Oh, and Mary is a cousin to Felix Koffman.
By the way, Soleil is a good kid, she isn’t involved in anything criminal and she doesn’t know about her grandmother. It likely would be hard on her if she found out. Um, what will happen to me and my family?” “Well, I will give you 3 choices,” I said, “you can go on your own from here and we will give you some money to start over. Or, we can fly you wherever you want to go and we will still give you money to start over. Or, you can come and work for me.” “I know what I would like to do,” he said, “but I need to talk it over with my wife first.”
“That’s a good idea,’ I said, “now I have to get back with the others.” Well, Yves certainly had quite a lot of information for us, now to find out some other things too. I called Cristy, but Hannah was on the computer this time. I asked her to check on the gold heist and the jewel heist and see if we can get more information about that. Hannah already knew about the gold heist and gave me the information right away. Half of it was recovered within two weeks, but the other half disappeared completely, until now. But I needed to make sure it was still in that safe before calling in the authorities.
Percival said it would take a pro to open that safe, so, I called Mac. Several of the Jaguars rode past Mary’s house and dropped off Mac who was met by Sky. She took him, invisibly, from the street to the house and down to the basement. He looked at the safe and smiled, then he asked her to bring Misty. Sky sighed, but did what he said and she was soon back with Misty. “Interesting travel attire,” said Mac smiling. “I was on my way to bed, when Ms. Super Sneak here grabbed me and brought me here,” she said, “and…oooo, look at the huge safe.” “How much do you remember about what I taught you?” he asked. “Most likely everything, plus 10%,” said Sky.
“I like to use my spare time for studying,” said Misty, scowling slightly at Sky who just giggled. “It’s not my fault,” said Sky, “Mac ordered me to bring you here.” “It was more of a request,” said Mac. “Same difference,” said Sky, “she’s here, that’s the main thing.” “True,” said Mac, “so, open it Misty.” “Who, me?” she asked. “No one else named Misty,” he said. She started working on it. “Hey, if I’m super sneaky,” began Sky… “Hush,” said Misty, “I can’t concentrate with noise.” “Oh, sorry,” said Sky. “Rats, now I need to start over,” said Misty.
Then Sky moved in real close to Misty to watch. Misty turned to Sky and scowled a bit. “What’s wrong?” asked Sky. “You’re too close, it makes me nervous,” said Misty, “then I make mistakes.” “You get nervous easily,” said Sky, “but I’ll move back here, how’s this?” “Much better,” said Misty. Then she stood there looking. “Rats, forgot where I was,” she said, “now I need to start over.” During this time Angel was upstairs watching outside to see if anyone else might show up. There was no action out there, so she came down to the basement.
“Oh, Misty is trying to open the safe?” she asked. “Yes, Mac wanted me to get her,” said Sky, “it’s kind of a test of what she has learned. But you have to be very quiet and stand here, otherwise she gets nervous.” “Wow, she gets nervous easily,” said Angel. At this point Misty was standing with her head against the safe. She turned and looked at Sky and Angel, and scowled a bit. “That means she’s nervous,” Sky told Angel, “now she will have to start over.”
“Ha! Not this time you chatterboxes!” said Misty triumphantly. She turned back to her work and just stood there. “Rats,” she sighed, “forgot where I was, now I need to start over. If you two weren’t ghosts I would flip you over my shoulder.” “Like you do to Steve?” asked Sky. “Yes, precisely,” she replied. “Would it make you feel better?” asked Sky. “Yes, it would,” said Misty.
“Okay, do it then,” said Sky smiling, and she held out her hand. Misty looked, then she quickly grabbed Sky’s hand and flipped her. “Whoa, that was fun!” exclaimed Sky. “oooo, me next,” said Angel. “Wheeeee!” exclaimed Angel, “that is fun!” “Feel better?” asked Sky. “Yes,” said Misty. It took Misty a couple more tries, but she did it! Mac went over and opened the door. “Look at that!” the girls said at the same time…
To Be Continued. ©2025 Steve McLeod.