Steve`s Country
For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
Weekend Smiles.
Hi everyone, it’s time for a bit more humor from my collection. So, grab a cup of coffee or tea, sit back, relax and hopefully you will get a smile and maybe even a laugh or two. Enjoy!
SIGNS OF LIFE
Sign outside a hotel. ‘Help! We need inn-experienced people!’
Sign at farmer’s field= The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.
Sign on front door= everyone in the house is a vegetarian, except the dog.
Non-smoking area= if we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
Sign on fence= salesmen welcome, dog food is expensive.
Optometrists office= if you don’t see what you are looking for, you have come to the right place.
Car Classified Ad Claims:
If the car ad claims……What it really means
~Rough condition……To bad to lie about
~Parts car……Beyond repair
~Immaculate……Recently washed
~Engine quiet……If you use 90 weight oil
~Needs minor overhaul…..Needs engine
~Needs major overhaul….Phone junkyard
~Burns no oil…..It all leaked out
~Rebuilt engine…..Cleaned the spark plugs
~Drive it away…..I live on a hill
~Drive it anywhere….Within 10 miles
~Desirable classic…..No one wants it
~Rare classic…..No one wanted it even when it was new
~Stored 20 years…..In a farmer’s field
~Ran when stored….Won’t start
Little Emily was at her first wedding and gaped at the entire ceremony. When it was over, she asked her mother, “Why did the lady change her mind?”
Her mother asked, “What do you mean?”
“Well, she went down the aisle with one man and came back with another one.”
Today more and more cities have red light cameras, to take photos of cars running red lights.
In one particular city, a man received a ticket in the mail along with a picture of himself in a car, running the red light. The fine was $200.
So the man, thinking that this just wasn’t right, got two $100 bills, took a picture of them, and sent in the picture to the police.
One week later he received a picture of a pair of handcuffs. He promptly sent the money that day.
Well, I hope you have enjoyed at least some of these chuckles from my collection of humor gathered over the years. Have a great weekend and God bless!
Steve and Muffin.
© 2020 Steve McLeod.
Nature’s Art, #19.
Hello everyone! How are you on this beautiful Saturday? Hopefully you will be able to relax a bit and enjoy the world around you. There is so much out there for us to enjoy. Go for a walk in a park, or in a country location, or just in your own neighborhood. For many of us winter is still here so what is there to see when going for a walk? Everything is dormant now until spring when all the trees and plants burst into life again. But just stop and listen while you are out there. Here the birds chirping as they fly among the trees and shrubs. Look at all the amazing branches of the trees, empty of leaves, but drawing a beautiful picture against the bright blue sky. How about an evening walk where you can look up, perhaps see some stars and definitely see that amazing moon. There is much beauty around out there, we just need to see it.
And that means our new look at some of the art in nature…
First we have this very nice pure white mushrooms. I found a lot of these in one small area last year along my path. They were very bright and really stood out among the pine needles on the ground.
And here we have a couple more white mushrooms though a lot different than the first one. The largest of these two is 7 inches (17.5cm) tall and 5 inches (12.5cm) across the top. These were the only 2 I saw of this variety. I’m still trying to identify it.
But both of these varieties of mushrooms definitely help to provide some art in nature for us. The abundant varieties, colors, sizes and shapes really adds beauty and art, not only out in the forest, but can even show up in our own yards at times. Well, I do hope you all have a fantastic weekend and God bless!
Steve and Muffin.
© 2020 Steve McLeod.
Steve`s Country 