For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
Good morning everyone! Yes, it is evening here, but for many, perhaps most, of you it’s already morning. Very early morning, but morning just the same. Anyway, this week has gone by rather quickly once again, just like last week. That’s why there was no Weekly Fun last week, the week disappeared before I realized it. So, I decided to get it out early this week, but I didn’t quite make it, so, here we are towards the end of the week. But, here we are. Laughing all the way! That phrase made me think of “Jingle Bells”, which made me think of Christmas, which made me almost scream. I do enjoy Christmas, but not in the summer, even though it’s more like fall now, or autumn if you prefer. Anyway, here are with this week’s funnies…
======
Rick, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job. The company boss asked various questions about him and his education, but then asked him, “What is three times seven?”
“22,” Rick replied. After he left, he double-checked it on his calculator (he *knew* he should have taken it to the interview!) and realized he wouldn’t get the job.
About two weeks later, he got a letter that said he was hired for the job! He was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but was still very curious. The next day, he went in and asked why he got the job, even though he got such a simple question wrong.
The boss shrugged and said, “Well, you were the closest.”
======
A dentist married a manicurist. They fought tooth and nail.
======
At the chess tables in the park, a guy was playing chess — with a dog!
An amazed passer-by said, “I can’t believe my eyes! That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen!”
The guy said, “Nah, he’s not so smart. I’ve beaten him 3 times out of 5.”
======
A flat-Earther decided to walk west until he fell off the edge. In the end, he came around. The only thing he had to fear was sphere itself.
======
SHIPWRECK DIARY
Day 1: Alone, doing well. Mentally Sound. Met a crab.
Day 2: I have married the crab.
Day 3: I have eaten my wife.
======
A friend called me to say that she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.
======
REMEMBER WHEN…
If you’re even half-way old, you will remember when:
> Your computer’s ready-mode was a black screen with a single cursor, and there was no such thing as Windows; there was just DOS.
> Your phone choices and bills were much easier because AT&T was a good old-fashioned monopoly.
> There was this amazing new video game called “Pong” and you thought it had the most advanced graphics imaginable.
> The first true laptop computer was a Radio Shack TRS-80. If you were hip, you referred to it affectionately as a TRASH-80.
> The astonishing mobility was a cordless phone you could take around the house; it got better reception than the one you can now take all over the country.
> Mail was something you wrote on a piece of paper and put into a stamped envelope. And you didn’t get 110 unsolicited pieces of it every morning promising great riches or body enhancements.
> No normal person had speakers on a computer.
> A 1-gig hard drive was as big as a warehouse.
> An 8-track tape the size of a paperback book was an advanced concept in compact music recording.
> And jokes were always told in person!
======
Apparently this week there will be constant rane, hale, gails, drissle, thundre, litnin, hy tydes, tawnaydoes and frizzing colde. A really bad spell of wether.
======
It was my wedding day, and no one was happier than my 78-year-old mother.
But as she approached the church doors, an usher asked, “Which side are you on?”
“Oh, no,” she said. “Are they fighting already?”
======
At my age I have given up on health foods; I need all the preservatives I can get.
======
Well, that’s all for today, have a great rest of your week and God bless!
Steve. ©2026 Steve McLeod
Although I had initially asked Aari to take his Black Wolves and look for the Hearts of India, I changed my mind shortly after they left, and sent them to Canada. Wemyss has recently begun starting new operations and companies in Canada and that is the Black Wolves domain, though in a fictional sort of way. Anyway, they would not like the idea of Wemyss moving into their territory, so it is time for them to let him know they don’t want him around.
That should shake him up a bit and get his attention focused elsewhere for a while. Hopefully it will work, though the Wolves will have to be extremely careful fighting Wemyss. He will most likely have a substantial guard presence at his companies. But, Aari does have Carine and Kristina with him, and two ghosts can take on whatever security Wemyss has in place. And, the Black Wolves can’t be traced back to us, which is very helpful indeed. I sent Dawn and her Night Owls to look for the gems.
However, I told her to be extra careful while looking because Wemyss might have men in that area too, and if he does, then Dawn and her team are to back away and only fight if Wemyss’ men find the gems first. Even then they need to be very careful and coordinated in their fight since they will have no ghosts with them. But after talking it over with Kat I decided to send Kitty along with Dawn as well. Our visit with Wemyss didn’t go very well but I was expecting that. He now knows positively that we are working on this case looking for Callison.
She will be safe though until Wemyss has those gems in his possession. Interestingly it is obvious that Callison has not yet talked, even though Wemyss would have many ways of getting information out of Callison, drugs being his best bet. No doubt he has tried drugs already and has not yet retrieved the information he needs to find the gems. That part is good, it keeps Callison safe a little longer and it could mean she doesn’t actually know where the gems are hidden, not the precise location anyway. All we had was some general information as to which mountain to look for these gems.
But we may have guessed wrong about which mountain they are hidden upon. Then, mountains are rather large and it may not be easy to find a single log cabin. However, that makes it hard for Wemyss as well. Only Angel, and 3 of the Bad Girls, Melanie, Melissa and Roxanne, came in with me to visit Wemyss. Sky, Jennifer and Friskie came in as well, invisibly, so they could look around the estate and listen to any conversations that arose after we left. The three ghosts will stay as long as they consider necessary, then Sky will bring them all back to our hotel.
Meanwhile, at the Wemyss estate. “What do you think Mr. Wemyss,” asked Robert, “do you believe they know about the gems?” “Very hard to tell,” said Wemyss, “he did mention that why Featherstonehaugh had left my employ was a bit foggy, so perhaps he doesn’t yet know. But I’m quite sure they are looking for an answer to that question.” Just then another car drove up and a couple of men came in to see Mr. Wemyss. “We just cannot give Callison anymore of that new drug,” he told Wemyss, “if we do then her brain will be irreparably damaged and we will get nothing from her.”
“How is she able to withstand that drug, doctor?” asked Wemyss, “It should have worked the very first time it was used on her. We have tested it on numerous occasions with 100% success each time.” “The only answer I can give you,” said the doctor, “is that she really doesn’t know where the gems are hidden.” “If that is the case,” said Wemyss, “then those gems are lost forever. And I have a buyer that is willing to give me his companies that operate across the United States which are worth at least $20 billion and he will give me $10 billion on top of it.
That would give me what I need to crush Mandar Corp. and take a big chunk out of Baldwin Corp. as well, possibly enough to force Sienna to sell what little remains of her empire to me, at a big discount! But, I need those gems to do it, so I must have them. But how to get her to talk?” “May I offer a suggestion Mr. Wemyss?” asked Lola. “Why certainly, my dear Lola,” he replied, “what is it?” “Why not let those Investigators have her,” she explained, “if for some reason she has been able to withstand the drugs, then she will want to enlist the help of those people in retrieving the gems. All you would need to do is keep an eye on them and when they go to all the work of finding the gems, then your men can take them away from those Investigators.”
“Hmm, that idea just might work,” he said, rubbing his beard, “but we would have to implant a tracker on her so we can follow them easily.” “They would likely have the means to detect a tracker,” said Lola, “but I’m quite certain it would not be hard to keep them in your sights. Then, when they find the gems and return to their vehicles your men can be waiting with a hail of bullets, thus ending those Investigators and Callison too. Then next will be the fall of Mandar and Sienna.”
“My dear Lola,” said Wemyss, “I rather think that you have a perfect plan for our little dilemma. Robert, arrange to have Callison released onto the street where those Investigators will see her. Just make sure she is thoroughly drunk before setting her free, and make sure those Investigators don’t see you, or they will know I had her all along.” “Very well sir,” said Robert, “it will be done at dinner in front of the restaurant that they use today.” Sky communicated this information to me right away. This means that wherever they are keeping Callison, it must be close at hand, so we waited for Robert to show up with Callison.
I did want to send Angel back to be with Jennifer and Sky and they could send Friskie back to be with me. Jennifer didn’t like that idea, however, since I am already down to having just one ghost with me and I am supposed to have two. Angel is stronger than Friskie in some ways so it’s better to have her guarding me. But I did mention that Kat could stay with me as well, so then I would have two ghosts. Jennifer thought for a moment, but she said it would be better to have Kat with her and Friskie, then Sky and Angel could guard me.
That does sound like a better arrangement, especially since Wemyss has seen Angel and that means he has also seen Sky, since they are twins, or 2 of the triplets actually. I don’t want Wemyss to know we have ghosts working with us. Meanwhile, way off in Canada, things are heating up. It seems a big warehouse at one of Wemyss companies is on fire. Then, the same night another location of a legitimate business was robbed. Though it was legitimate, Wemyss also used it for illegal activities, such as drugs and guns.
The huge safe was no problem for those thieves, however, and Wemyss lost $10 million in cash and an equal amount in drugs. Plus, 80 illegal guns were also taken. The Black Wolves have been busy. Apparently the leader of the Black Wolves left a note for Wemyss in the safe telling him to go back home or the Black Wolves would feast on his investments. Before that news reached Wemyss, however, Robert and some other men pushed Callison out of their car and proceeded to drive away, but…
To Be Continued. ©2026 Steve McLeod.