For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
Hi, hi everyone!😻 I back again with more fun funnies for friends, and that mean you! I a little late this week, me sorry for that, it my fault, kinda. It hot in here these days and I not able to go outside on balcony room anymore. Sniff, sniff. Cats next door come over here and fight me and they win, so now balcony room is their territory. That in the cat rule book. Whoever win fight gets territory.
I not young anymore and can’t fight younger cats and there is 3 of them. Oh well. My human tell me it still my territory cause he chase other cats away, so he win fight. Maybe he right, but I still scared to go out there. It cooler out there and I used to like going out there to have cat nap in afternoon. But, cooler weather has come back now so maybe it cool off in here.
My human go shopping yesterday and nothing funny happen again. At least, that what he tell me. Sometimes me not so sure. I tell him he need to try harder. He did do one thing that I thought was funny though. There big traffic jam in store aisle. 2 ladies block aisle by talking, lots of people backed up in three directions.
My human sort of know man in front of him, he have big booming type voice, just with normal talking. So my human come up with idea and he say to man, “a bit of a traffic jam today”, and man say, “yes, we do have a traffic jam.” Everyone hear his loud voice and 2 women move right away. My human very happy, his idea worked. That part is strange.😹 Oh well, here is funnies for today…
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TEN REASONS FARM TRUCKS ARE NEVER STOLEN
10. They have a range of about 20 miles before they overheat, breakdown or run out of gas.
9. Only the owner knows how to operate the door to get in or out.
8. It is difficult to drive fast with all the fence tools, grease rags, ropes, chains, syringes, buckets, boots and loose papers in the cab.
7. It takes too long to start and the smoke coming up through the rusted-out floorboard clouds your vision.
6. The Border Collie on the toolbox looks mean.
5. They’re too easy to spot. The description might go something like this: The driver’s side door is red, the passenger side door is green, the right front fender is yellow, etc.
4. The large round bale in the back makes it hard to see if you’re being chased. You could use the mirrors if they weren’t cracked and covered with duct tape.
3. Top speed is only about 45 mph.
2. Who wants a truck that needs a year’s worth of maintenance, u-joints, $3,000 in body work, tail-lights and windshield.
1. It is hard to commit a crime with everyone waving at you.
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I’ve got big news for musicians wanting that perfect sound! Stay tuned!
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I’m having a going-out-of-fitness sale.
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THE IMPORTANCE OF PROOFING
~Â IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are one of hundreds of parachuting enthusiasts who bought our Easy Sky Diving book, please make the following correction:
on page 8, line 7, the words “state zip code” should have read “pull rip cord.”
~ It was incorrectly reported last Friday that today is T-shirt Appreciation Day. In fact, it is actually Teacher Appreciation Day.
~ There are two important corrections to the information in the update on our Deep Relaxation professional development program. First, the program will include meditation, not medication. Second, it is experiential, not experimental.
~ Our newspaper carried the notice last week that Mr. Oscar Hoffnagle is a defective on the police force. This was a typographical error. Mr.
Hoffnagle is, of course, a detective on the police farce.
~ Apology: I originally wrote, “Woodrow Wilson’s wife grazed sheep on front lawn of the White House.” I’m sorry that typesetting inadvertently left out the word “sheep.”
~ In one edition of today’s Food Section, an inaccurate number of jalapeno peppers was given for Jeanette Crowley’s Southwestern chicken salad recipe. The recipe should call for two, not 21, jalapeno peppers.
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I wish people came with a 30-second trailer so I’d know what I was getting myself into.
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I went to the paint store to get thinner. It didn’t work.
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Well, that all for today everyone! I hope you all have very nice day and very nicer week!
Muffin. 😽
©2025 Muffin McLeod.
Chloe and Caleigh identified the woman on the recording as Danielle Boyer, though her real name is Medina. Our original Bad Girls know her well as she worked with Sebastien at the time they also were part of the organization. She is a cold woman with no conscience whatever. She likes to stay behind the scenes where no one can see, or find her.
She is very wealthy and always manages to find men to hire. She hates men yet only hires men to work for her. That way if they get killed, she figures there is no loss. It would make sense that she is chasing after us once again after what we did to her organization before. I had the other Bad Girls listen as well, just to make sure of the identification, I don’t want to make a mistake.
Chloe and Caleigh looked at me. “You do not trust us yet Steve?” asked Chloe. “That is not it,” I said, “but it’s a recording that isn’t completely clear, so I just want to make sure we are on the right path. I would like to talk with you girls though, before you get too angry with me.” I smiled at them. “We are not angry with our brother,” said Caleigh, smiling in return.
We went to my bedroom, along with Storm and Rascal. I turned on one of our scramblers and asked Suzette to put one in the other bedroom and my office too. The four girls were puzzled by this, and so were the cats. “You think that someone is spying on us?” asked Colette. “It’s possible,” I said, “so I need you to keep all of this a secret, and that means you tell no one on the team, no one.”
“You think maybe there is a traitor with us?” asked Chloe. “Yes, that is quite possible,” I said. Then I told them about some things, like the timing of the bugs for the cats and the timing with the funeral. “No one from outside would know these times,” I said, “unless they somehow got some listening devices in here, which doesn’t seem too likely.”
“But shooting Misty might have been random,” said Colette. “Perhaps, but I don’t think so,” I said, “because everything else is planned, doing something random doesn’t fit.” “Yes, I see that,” said Suzette, “unless that was done to throw us off the street.” I looked at her. “That is the way we used to say it when we live on the street big brother,” she said.
“I’m not very big,” I told them. Suzette came and sat on my lap. “To us, Steve, you are bigger than Rock,” she said smiling and gave me a hug. “Here is another secret,” I said, “if Muffin dies, then when this case is over, I am going to resign and go after this woman. I was voted down before and she came back to attack our cats. This time I will go after her.” “And you will do this without telling Jennifer?” asked Suzette. “No, hopefully she will come with me,” I said. “And we will come too,” said Chloe, as did all of them. “I was hoping you would say that,” I said.
Meanwhile, back in Canada. Aspen was terrified now and while the girls were moving their things to the other room, she ran down the stairs with Dawn and Sherry close behind her. But she made it out the front door and the girls stopped when they heard a lot of shooting, then a car sped away! They went out, but it was too late, Aspen had been shot 8 times and was dead.
The girls did see the car though and recognized it from the funeral. However, they didn’t know who owned the car, but that won’t be hard to find out. Sky was angry with herself for not following Aspen too, but she thought that Dawn and Sherry would stop her before she got outside. I told Sky and Angel to return home and then had Sky take Kat and Jennifer back to Canada.
The next day the family would be gathering with their lawyer in the afternoon for reading of the will. None of the girls would be with Lily during that time, but they wouldn’t be far away and Lily would have an emergency button on her in case there was a problem. In the morning, however, Kat had some plans for Ralph.
She found out that the car used last night for killing Aspen was owned by Ralph, though that doesn’t mean he was in the car at the time. But he obviously ordered that killing, which makes him guilty. But mostly she went after him for attacking her Wildcats, although none were actually in the room. But Dawn, Melanie, Sherry and Katresa are wearing the Wildcats logos right now.
Lily had found out that Ralph likes to eat breakfast at a certain restaurant 3 times a week, and this morning was one of those days. So, Kat and her Wildcats showed up for breakfast too. Kat walked over to his table where he had been joined by four of his friends. “Well, well, if it isn’t little Ralphie,” said Kat, “little Ralphie doesn’t have a very good memory, does he?”
“Get away from this table,” growled Ralph, “or I will throw you out onto the street!” “And will your friends help you Ralphie?” she asked, “But that wouldn’t work because I have more friends than you. Now, I will refresh your memory real quick. I told you that if you hurt my sister, or any of my Wildcats, then you would feel the wrath of the Kat, and that’s me.
That was a very stupid thing to do last night, sending exploding drones into our room at the hotel.” “I don’t know what you are talking about,” he said and laughed. All of his friends laughed too. Then Kat hit the head of one friend just as he was going to drink some coffee, causing him to spill it on himself and he jumped up yelling.
She then took Ralph’s cup of coffee and tossed it in his face, then pushed his chair back and he fell on the floor screaming. By then more Wildcats had gathered around the table, throwing coffee and flipping chairs. The manager quickly called the police, but by the time they arrived no one in the restaurant remembered what had happened exactly, but the waitress said there had been an argument at Ralph’s table and they started throwing coffee at each other.
So, Ralph and his friends were arrested and taken away. That afternoon, the lawyer read out the will to the family. Lily’s mother got the largest share, each of the brothers received 5 million dollars, each of the sisters received 1 million dollars, except for Lily, all she got was a run down cottage close to Lake Ontario.
All of the brothers laughed at that one! Even the property wasn’t worth much since it was mostly swamp. Something wasn’t right considering that her father called Lily his little treasure. Sounds like someone messed with that will. Myrtle received 20 million dollars plus the family house, which was a beautiful mansion. Our limousine was waiting outside the lawyers office, with Sherry as the driver.
“There’s danger nearby,” said Jennifer, so she told Lily to get into the car quickly. Kat had briefly taken her hand off Lily as she bent down to get into the car when suddenly there was a loud whistle close by. That startled Lily and she stood up again, but quickly fell onto the sidewalk, she had been shot! The girls put her into the car and drove off, with Kat already working on Lily’s wound.
“That timing was amazing,” said Jennifer. “Yes, too amazing,” said Kat. They later learned that 3 of the brothers were also shot as they came out of the lawyers office, and they were killed. Myrtle was shot as well, but only had a minor wound. Something isn’t making sense about all of this…
To Be Continued.
©2025 Steve McLeod.