Hi, hi to everyone! I here now with more fun funnies for you to enjoy on Monday! My human go shopping this morning. Nothing funny happen. I ask him what wrong. He say nothing. Must be something wrong if nothing go wrong. He say nothing wrong and nothing happen. I say that not possible to happen. Something always go wrong when he go shopping. He say not true. Okay, he right, something go wrong 90% of time when he go shopping. He agree with me now. So, why he not in 90% today, why he in 10% today? He say, that the way it goes. And he laugh. So I bite leg. Now I laugh. Here is funnies…

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I know I’ve been putting on weight, but there’s been a lot on my plate lately.

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A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he’d try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game. The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said, “Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green.”

The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole. “Now what?” the fellow asked the speechless pro.

“Uh… you’re supposed to hit the ball into the cup,” the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again.

“Oh great! NOW you tell me!” said the beginner.

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My email password has been hacked again! That’s the third time I’ve had to rename the dog.

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EXERCISE PROGRAM

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. 

With a 5-lb potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can.  Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. 

Each day, you’ll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. 

After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato sacks. 

Then try 50-lb potato sacks and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. 

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.

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What do you call a running turkey? Fast food.

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One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others.

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A magician was working on a Caribbean cruise ship. The audience was different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again.

There was only one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the show every week and began to understand what the magician did in every trick. Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show:

“Look, it’s not the same hat!”
“Look, he’s hiding the flowers under the table!”
“Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?”

The magician was furious but couldn’t do anything; it was the captain’s parrot after all.

One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood, in the middle of the ocean, and of course the parrot was by his side. They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word.

This went on for several days. After a week the parrot finally said: “Okay, I give up. What’d you do with the boat?”

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This is an unusual paragraph. I’m curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching! 

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That all for today everyone, just ask me about last one and I give answer. Have nice week!

Muffin.

©2025 Muffin McLeod.