For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
Hi, hi everyone!😻 I back with more midweek fun funnies from funny Muffin! In middle of week my funnies post will be shorter like we started last week. Today be shorter post too and maybe sorta similar to last week’s middle of week funny post. Kinda. Sorta. In a way. A little bit. Maybe you remember. Or maybe not remember. Oh well. Lots short sentences today. It nice and sunny kind of day again today. More sunny than normal lately since no smoke around to block sunny sunshine from shining sun so I have sunshiny spots for sleeping and napping. hehehe!😹 Here is funny for today…
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Jim and Sally were deeply and desperately in love, so with the wisdom of youth, they decided to forego the formalities of a traditional ceremony to simply and secretly elope.
Their plan was the soul of simplicity: they would drive to a nearby town, find a Justice of the Peace and by nightfall they would be married.
As they drew near a small municipality, they saw an older man on a tractor, cutting the grass and weeds on the shoulder of the road.
Jim slowed down, Sally rolled down her window and they asked if the town boasted a JP.
“Yep.” Was the reply.
“Where is the office?” Jim enquired.
“On the right as you come to the town square. Can’t miss it.” The old fellow informed them.
The eager couple thanked him and sped off.
When they came to the town. They immediately located the office of the JP.
Entering, they found a
clerk who helpfully told them that the JP was not in, but should be returning soon.
They found chairs and waited rather impatiently for the magistrate.
After what seemed to the couple to be an inordinate wait, the door opened and a freshly showered gentleman appeared.
Jim said, “Say, aren’t you the fellow who was driving the tractor?”
“Yep, that’s me,” the dignitary informed them, “The mower, the marryer”
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Tip for a successful marriage: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she’s mowing the lawn.
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hehehe! 😹 That all for today, have nice midweek time everyone!
Muffin. 😽
©2024 Muffin McLeod.
I was sitting in the library relaxing and thinking about our present case when Melissa walked past and saw me, so she came in to see what I was doing. She looked around the empty room and asked where Annelie and my bodyguards were. “I gave everyone the day off,” I said, “it is too hot today for any kind of work or team practice sessions. Did you not hear that?”
“Uh, yeah, I heard it,” she said, “but I wanted to keep working on that antidote for the ‘Nowhere’ drug because I think at least one of us should be working on it at all times during the day and you are here all alone and should have Jennifer or your other bodyguards or some from Team S and Mr. B isn’t even here and where is he and you could at least have some cats with you Steve, this just isn’t right!” “Wow, when you get started you like to keep on going,” I said smiling, and almost laughing.
“Hey, this isn’t funny,” she said, “you need protection at all times, you are going against the rules and that is not right because that will just teach the rest of us to break the rules too and…” I stopped her at that point. “Do you have a gun with you?” I asked. “Yes, of course, I always carry my gun when on duty,” she said. “Sit down beside me,” I said, and she did so, “there, now you are my bodyguard.” “There should be 4 bodyguards when Jennifer is not with you,” she said, frowning at me.
“You are right,” I said, “but all the girls are at the pool and I don’t think they want me around. And I needed to be alone for a while, sometimes it helps me think. Team 4 and Team S have the chateau surrounded, so I should be quite safe. I am still trying to figure out some things about our new case and some things that don’t fit. Why doesn’t anyone know who the leader is? How did he get away? Is he back or has he decided to stay away for good?” “You’re asking me?” she said, “You have the wrong person for those kind of answers.”
“Did your gang ever try to set up in Europe before that time we met?” I asked. “Depends on what you mean by Europe,” she said, “we did have a small gang set up in England for a while. It was involved with drugs, thefts, protection and a few other things. But the police destroyed that gang after a few years by killing some and putting the rest in prison…” Then she stopped and stared at me for a bit. “That is why Cliff’s name sounded so familiar!” she exclaimed, “Cliff Compton was one of the tough guys in the protection part of the gang. The other two were a guy named Bull and another guy named Squid. You’re after our old gang!”
“Do you remember the name of the guy who was the leader?” I asked. “Sure, only it wasn’t a guy, it was a woman,” she said, “and her name was Ann Graham. She was very ruthless, cruel and scary. I was over there for a while working with them and I was scared the whole time. Ann did not care about anyone except herself and if you ever spoke against her or did not follow orders exactly, then she would come up with unique ways to punish that person. I found out personally what that meant. It was very embarrassing and humiliating for me, I had never…”
Melissa had her head down and she spoke very quietly at that point. “It’s okay, no need to continue any further on that point,” I said, “do you remember what she looked like?” “I wish I could forget,” she said, “if Annelie was here I could tell her where to get a photo of Ann.” “Well, here’s my laptop beside me,” I said, “feel free to use it and get me a photo of Ann.” She quickly moved over and sat on my lap and found me a photo. “There she is, Ann Graham,” said Melissa.
“Interesting,” I said, “we know her as Alice Compton, wife of Cliff Compton.” “Ha! She would never marry that guy, she hates him!” exclaimed Melissa, “She only kept him around because he was good at bringing in business. That little gang made millions apparently, though most of it came back to our gang.” “You have just helped us a great deal Melissa,” I said, “that deserves a kiss.” So I kissed her. “Oops, sorry to interrupt you two, I will come back later,” said Sky.
“Nooo, please tell me that wasn’t Sky,” said Melissa nervously. “Sorry to say it like this, but, it is Sky,” I said, “looks like she caught us.” “Noo,” she said again, then she turned quickly to Sky trying to get up at the same time and she stepped on my foot causing her to fall back on top of me. “We really need to stop meeting like this,” I said, shaking my head. “What? No, wait, Sky, it is not what you think!” she exclaimed, “I was just sitting on Steve’s lap so I could use his laptop.”
“Hmm, that’s a new one,” she sighed, “every time my back is turned you are kissing one of the girls.” Poor Melissa didn’t know what to do now. Then Sky began to laugh and told Melissa not to worry. I then told Sky what Melissa had told me about this gang we were investigating. “Hmm, better call Kat, Kristina and Matt to let them know the boss is a woman,” said Sky, “and to be careful with that Ann character.” I did so right away. Then Sky also asked why I was alone and she then called in 4 members of Team S to stay with me.
Team S is a new team from Mandar with specially trained members for being bodyguards. There are 15 women on this team. Mandar is now preparing another team which will be Team S2 and it will have 10 specially trained men on it. These will be Mandar’s teams and will remain on his payroll but will always be at our disposal to use whenever we want them. Team S, as mentioned, will be for special bodyguard duty while Team S2 will be for special use on cases where we need extra men.
We always seem to have trouble getting, and keeping, men who are reliable. That is why we always have more women as members of The Investigators. Now, news about Ann makes me think she is the one who killed Thomas and that is why a shovel was used to hit him on the back. She would be too small to attack Thomas otherwise. Maybe she is the real killer in that gang. However, things are not working out so good for our team back in England…
To Be Continued.
©2024 Steve McLeod.