For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
Hi, hi to everyone!😺 And a big meow too! It cloudy, windy and cooler today, that mean it probably the same outside too. My human out yesterday for long time taking pictures. He come home and all he want to do is lie down and have nap! Not when he away all morning he not going to nap. He going to play with me. He going to scritch me. He going to feed me. He not going to nap! So, we have fun playing first, then scritch time, then snack time. Oh, it great afternoon, my human so nice!😹 Then I have nap time.😻 Here is funnies for Friday for you…
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In dire need of a beauty makeover, I went to my salon with a fashion magazine photo of a gorgeous, young, lustrous-haired model.
I showed the stylist the trendy new cut I wanted and settled into the chair as he began humming a catchy tune and got to work on my thin, graying hair.
I was delighted by his cheerful attitude until I recognized the melody.
It was the theme from “Mission: Impossible.”
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I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.
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I hate people who can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.
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A young couple moves into a new neighborhood.
The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside.
“That laundry is not very clean,” she said. “She doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap.” Her husband looked on, but remained silent.
Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments.
About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: “Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this?”
The husband said, “I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows.”
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A professor gathered the papers after a test and found a $100 bill attached to one of them with a note saying: “A dollar per point.”
When the professor returned the graded tests, the student got $64 change.
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I’m bored. I think I’ll go to the mall, find a parking spot, and sit in my car with the reverse lights on.
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A man giving a long-winded speech finally says: “I’m sorry I talked so long. I left my watch at home.”
A voice from the crowd says: “There’s a calendar behind you.”
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That moment when you walk into a spider web suddenly turns you into a karate master.
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That is all for funnies for Friday for you! Hope you have nicest weekend time!
Muffin. 😽
©2024 Muffin McLeod.
Trapper and his friends were driving along the side street they used for coming to the hotel when suddenly a large truck drove out of an alley right in front of them. They slammed on the brakes and began yelling at the driver of the truck. Then another large truck drove up behind them, then turned to block them from backing up. That is when Matt and the Knight Riders came roaring along, coming in from both sides effectively blocking Trapper and his men.
“Well, look at what we have here,” said Matt, “how’s things this morning Trapper? I see you still have a few men left. Now, be good boys and get out of those jeeps.” Trapper realized they were too outnumbered to try fighting their way out of this problem, so they did what Matt told them. Then Matt’s men went over and checked those jeeps. “Bringing some drugs into town perhaps?” asked Matt. Trapper said nothing which was the wrong thing to do, then Matt knew they had something good with them. Of course he already knew about the money.
But looking around they were not finding anything. Then Harvey went to let the air out of the spare tire, but nothing happened. “Hey, no air in this here tire,” he said. Cal checked the tire on the second jeep and the same thing. They had the tires off the rims real quick and found them stuffed full of drugs. “Nice haul boys, pack them up,” said Matt, “anything else interesting Trapper?” “Look for yourself, I’m not saying anything,” he told Matt. Wee Willie remembered something he saw one time about a hidden compartment behind the seats.
He got in the back and pushed both seats forward at the same time and a secret door opened beneath his feet. Inside the compartment were two briefcases. “Take a look Matt,” he said. “This is real nice too Trapper,” said Matt, “I always like finding cash.” They checked the other jeep and found another briefcase which was also full of cash. Alfred looked it over carefully. “Looks to be around $250,000 here,” he said to Matt.
“Now that is very nice indeed Trapper,” said Matt, “you know, if you had been more cooperative I might have just taken our prize and left you. But since you like to be uncooperative, then we will have to make things a bit embarrassing for you. Take those old pieces of metal apart boys.” Matt, Aari, Mac and Harvey then went over to Trapper and his men, took their phones and smashed them. They also took their guns, a couple knives and their wallets. Then they all got back on their bikes and off they went, laughing loudly. “I hope that Mandar guy can take care of those Knight Riders,” said Tom.
“And what am I going to pay Mandar with?” asked Trapper, “Pebbles perhaps?” “Maybe you could borrow some from Montana,” suggested Tom. “Not a chance!” said Trapper, “She is already on fire mad because we lost Acadia and now Timothy and Lena will get that loot. Montana is ready to rip the skin right off me, there is millions of dollars tied up in that haul and we had the key to it all, but didn’t know it!” “Yeah, but we didn’t know Acadia hid the loot,” said Tom, “Montana must know that.”
“We are supposed to know everything, according to Montana,” said Trapper, “and that crazy Matt and his Riders are always one step ahead of us. Well, we are nearly at the hotel, so let’s keep going and I will see if I can make a deal with that old man.” Once at the hotel he asked the owner what room the old man was in. “Oh, yes, he leave already, yes,” said the man, “he leave letter for you.” He handed the letter to Trapper. It read, “Matt stopped in and said he relieved you of your money. I cannot work free my good man, perhaps another time. Mandar.”
Trapper was red with anger. “Where is that PI?” he asked. “Oh, they go out shopping he said, yes,” said the owner, “they will be back later today sometime, yes.” It cost us $200 to get the owner to say that, but I guess it was worth it. We arrived at the airport and were soon on our way back home. Mandar and the Wildcats were not too far behind us, followed by Matt and his Knight Riders. They have a special jet for easy loading of their motorcycles. On the way back I talked more with Acadia.
“Yes, I did hide the money and gold,” she said, “there is a lot, good thing it was in a truck already, but it took a while to hide all that gold, even though it was just small bars. Getting rid of the truck was harder, so I just left it in the driveway behind mom’s house. I am quite sure she was not too thrilled with that, but she just blamed it on her boyfriend. Both of them hate me, I know that. Mom hates me because I won’t do what she says. I had no choice when I was a kid, or she would beat me terribly. It was no fun growing up, doing things like that, I hated every minute of it.
When I got older I decided to say no, and every time I did Timothy would punch me in the stomach. Finally mom gave up and got other girls who would cooperate with her. Are you going to send me back to mom?” “No Acadia,” I said, “I will not send you back. If you help us, we will help you and give you a new identity in a new place so you can start over with a new life.” “Oh,” she said, looking down, “thank you.” “You don’t seem to happy Acadia,” said Jennifer, “is something wrong?” “Oh, well, I was just, well, it doesn’t matter, really,” she said.
“Maybe she would rather stay with us,” said Galyna, “would you like that?” Acadia gave us a big smile. “Yes, I would like that very much,” she said, “all of you seem so happy together, kind of like a big family. I would very much like to be part of your big family.” “Well then,” said Jennifer, “I think that can certainly be arranged, right Steve?” “Yes, we always have room for one more at our chateau,” I said. It was a long flight home, good thing we have actual beds in our jet so we can sleep properly. This case should be solved quickly now…
To Be Continued.
©2024 Steve McLeod.