For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
PLEASE NOTE: This post is for humor purposes, it is not intended to be taken seriously, nor is it intended to be taken as complaining. Thank you!
Good morning everyone! However, I realize that for many of my readers it is no longer morning and by the time this is posted it will likely be evening for some of you. I need to start earlier, like I used to do. I’m really not sure why I changed, but changing back seems hard to do for some reason.
Anyway, it is a good time for a cup of coffee, or tea, sit back and relax for a few minutes with me as we look at some things from my past. Things seem to happen to me, especially at stores and restaurants. I do not need to try either, things will just happen. It used to be that way with my dad, now it happens to me. Dad could always blame me for things, but I have no one to lay the blame on. Just me.

Thought I would share more of my little friends today. This is Jasper the Red Squirrel.
I go into a restaurant with a friend, we sit down and the waitress brings us coffee and takes our order for breakfast. My friend puts cream in his coffee (one of those little individual creamers) and so do I. His was fine, my cream was sour. The waitress brings me another coffee and a new dish of creamers. I put one in and it is sour. We try again. Third time it is sour again. Fourth cup of coffee.
By this time the owner is there with fresh creamers. He puts one in his coffee. It’s fine. I put one in my coffee. It is sour. Fifth cup, cream is sour. By this time there were 3 waitresses, the manager and his wife, plus a couple other customers watching. Sixth cup, sour cream. My friend had a fresh cup of coffee now and he tried, cream was fine. I did not want to give up. Seventh cup was fine.

Okay, this one is not quite so little, this is Junior the White-tailed Deer.
There was a loud cheer from everyone. Sigh. Another time I went into a restaurant, spotted some people I knew and stopped to chat a bit, then kept walking, but not fully turned around yet, still saying goodbye. Bad move on my part. I kind of stumbled a bit, bumped into a table and ended up sitting on a ladies lap! There were 4 ladies at the table.
They all laughed about it, as did my friends. According to the waitress my face was quite red. Sigh. Another time, and different restaurant, I had ordered a hamburger and fries. They had good hamburgers at that place. I took a bite, munch, munch. It was good as usual. Second bite, munch, munch. Something did not feel quite right.

And this buck is a bit bigger than Junior, this one is named Major.
I looked at the bottom of the bun. Completely moldy. I mean thick mold. Like really fuzzy mold. I suddenly did not feel so good. I waved to the waitress and showed her. “Oh no!” she said and took it away. Sigh. The cook and manager came out and apologized. I ordered something else and did not have to pay for it. Sometimes you can get a chain reaction of events.
Such as one time my brother and I were at a restaurant, and some places put their tables much too close together, like this one. It was quite crowded that day and two men chose the table behind my brother. The one man was rather, um, large and he sat down rather hard and fast.
That pushed my brother who then pushed the table knocking my water glass over spilling it onto the table and onto my lap which caused me to suddenly jump so as not to get too wet and that caused me to bump the lady behind me causing her to scream and drop her forkful of food onto the floor. Fortunately it missed her nice dress.

This is a female Common Redpoll at the feeder.
Also, fortunately, she did not blame me when she discovered what had happened. I was still rather embarrassed. The waitress apologized to the lady and me and she tried to dry off my jeans with a cloth, which was a waste of time. My brother was laughing so much he couldn’t eat. Sigh.
Another time, at my favorite restaurant, Krissy brought my food and set it on the table. Then she decided to lean over and kiss me but lost her balance putting her hand down on the table but she hit the edge of the plate causing the plate to flip right over onto my lap. Krissy laughed. Loud and long. Fortunately she had locked the door and put up the closed sign so we would not be disturbed.

This is a female Downy Woodpecker enjoying some suet.
Otherwise it might have been embarrassing. Forget “might”, it would have been. Krissy did wash and dry my jeans for me. Sigh. This is only a partial list of things that have happened to me at restaurants. I hope you all enjoyed my chuckles today. Have a great weekend everyone and God bless!
Steve and Muffin.
©2024 Steve McLeod.
I found it interesting that Mr. B would come looking for me just to talk with me, and not fight. Perhaps he wants to warn me to stay away, in which case he will be disappointed. Since he had a bodyguard with him, I figured it should be okay to bring Jennifer with me. We also brought Jewel and Rascal with us. We found Mr. B and his bodyguard sitting at a table in the lounge, so we joined them.
“I hope you do not mind the cats,” I said, “but we do not like leaving them alone in the room.” “It is fine with us,” said Mr. B, “we both like cats. I am Mr. B and this is Cal, he goes with me everywhere.” “This is my wife Sky,” I said, “and I am Steve, leader of The Investigators. I heard rumors you were in the area, so I assume you are not a friend of Carmen.” Both of them laughed at that.
“You are correct,” he said, “I am Carmen’s husband, though we have been separated for 10 years now, and I have been looking for her ever since. She always manages to keep one step ahead of me. When she left, she also managed to take most of my money and clients. You can probably imagine I was not too happy about that. She is a dangerous, unpredictable woman, do not trust her at all.
I know she must have kidnapped some of your people and you are getting them back, slowly. You never will get them all, except maybe in a box. That is how you will get the last on the list anyway.” Jennifer looked at me, she could tell what I was thinking, Sky is the last one on the list. I was quiet for a moment.
“She will regret doing that,” I said finally, “I will destroy her if she does. It may take me a while, but I will do it.” Just then Annelie called and asked if it was okay to talk, it was about Carmen she said, so I told her it would be okay. Mr. B might enjoy hearing this too. “It seems Majori has been helping Carmen for the past 5 years,” said Annelie, “mainly helping with her security issues, which, as you know, is her specialty.
She arrived today to be a permanent part of Carmen’s organization. She also brought 20 people with her and apparently Carmen already has 60 to 70 people in her organization. Also, she now controls about 20% of drugs and sex trafficking in the country, plus some other things such as the illegal gun trade and she is now getting started in gambling too.”
“Thanks girl,” I said, “will talk again later.” “You are able to find out information easily,” said Mr. B, “you obviously have good contacts. I did not know Carmen was growing so much, if she is not stopped soon, it will be impossible. Who is this Majori, or am I not allowed to ask?” I quickly filled him in on Majori. With her and Carmen together, things just got a lot more dangerous. I looked at Jennifer.
“You will not be able to come with me tomorrow,” I said, “if Majori is at the meeting, she will know you are not Sky.” “Yes, I thought of that too,” she said. Mr. B looked a bit puzzled so I told him that Sky is really Jennifer, and the Jennifer that Carmen has is really my wife Sky. “She just does not know it yet,” I said, “unless Majori has seen the prisoners, in which case it will be dangerous when we go tomorrow.”
I looked at Jennifer again. “I wonder if Mac or John could get here in time for tomorrow,” I said to her. “They could, only they would be tired,” she said. “True, but it’s too dangerous for one of the other girls to take your place,” I said. “What do you think Cal?” asked Mr. B. “Okay with me,” he said, “then I could take a look at the setup down there.” “If you can use Cal, he is all yours Steve,” said Mr. B.
“You are most welcome to join me Cal,” I said, “just remember, this is voluntary, and you may not come back. But you will be given as much protection as possible. Unfortunately, weapons are not allowed on this trip. Seems they make Carmen nervous for some reason.” They both laughed. Well, it is nearly 2 pm and we are just parking in front of the general store once again.
Carmen does not know Cal at all, so that is good, hopefully none of her men know him either. A new man with an assault rifle motioned us inside. Cal had the suitcase this time. “Good afternoon dear Steve,” said Carmen, “oh my, Sky has sure changed.” “She came down with a severe case of flu,” I said, “so Cal here had to bring me today.” “Such a shame dear Steve,” she said, “and just how many girls do you have named Sky?”
Oh, oh, Carmen knows already and we are in trouble. Sky was then brought out in a wheelchair, or, what was left of her anyway. “Poor girl,” said Carmen, “she put up a good fight against Boxer, but she was no match.”
Boxer then came out grinning from ear to ear. “Carmen,” I said, “you just made a big mistake and you are now a dead woman.” She just laughed and sat on a wood chair like she always does. Majori came out of the back room, she was also laughing…
To Be Continued.
©2024 Steve McLeod.