For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
Hi, hi to everyone! 😻❄️ I back again with more fun funnies for everyone to enjoy. So, today, we just get started with them…
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CHRISTMAS COOKIE RULES
1. If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test and thus calorie free.
2. If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie, it also has no calories because the diet soda cancels out the cookie calories.
3. If a friend comes over while you’re making your Christmas cookies and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend. Because your friend’s first cookie is calorie free (rule #1), yours is also. It would be rude to let your friend sample alone and, being the friend that you are, that makes your cookie calorie free.
4. Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
5. Any calories consumed during the frosting of the Christmas cookies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from a knife without cutting your tongue.
6. Cookies colored red or green have very few calories. Red ones have three and green ones have five – one calorie for each letter. Make more red ones!
7. Cookies eaten while watching “Miracle on 34th Street” have no calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel.
8. As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
9. Any cookies consumed from someone else’s plate have no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to their plate. We all know how calories like to CLING!
10. Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because cookies used for medicinal purposes NEVER have calories. It’s a rule!
So, go out and enjoy those Christmas Cookies – we only get them this time of year! Same rules apply for New Year’s cookies!
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CATS’ FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONGS
1. Up on the Mousetop
2. Joy to the Curled
3. I Saw Mommy Hiss at Santa Claus
4. Jingle Balls
5. Wreck the Halls
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That all for today everyone, have nicest week, I be back on New Year’s Eve, whatever that is.
Muffin. 😽❄️ ©2025 Muffin McLeod.
Cindy, our nurse, ran quickly to check on those that had been shot. She didn’t come out to fight with the others, which is what I told her to do at all times. We need our nurse, not another fighter right now. However, as she pointed out, she is a nurse, not a surgeon, and she has never removed a bullet before, but I told her to just take it slow and she would be able to get it done. Plus she has Misty to help as she has been taking a nursing course taught by Samantha. I communicated with Kat about our predicament with the bullets and she got Samantha to come and join our “conversation”.
Unfortunately, she can’t see what is happening, but I am describing it as Cindy and Misty tell me. Valeria was shot in the shoulder area, but no bones were hit, so hers is the easiest, and therefore the last, to be done. Cristy is the most serious, though we didn’t tell her that, and Kristina put Cristy to sleep so she wouldn’t see Misty crying. This is definitely hard on Misty, since she realizes that Cristy may not survive.
The bullet is close to Cristy’s heart and Misty is much too nervous to try and even Cindy is shaking and on her third attempt, she just sat there, not even able to get started. So, I took that instrument out of her hand, gently, and told her to move to the side and watch me to make sure I did things right. Poor Misty is crying too much to see much of anything, but she is kneeling beside Cristy and holding her hand. I don’t think she knew I had taken over the operation until I began cutting a larger opening.
She quickly looked up at me, then smiled through her tears. Jennifer is on guard duty and she told Angel to watch over me in case I needed strength quickly, so she is right beside me. Hmm, that bullet is closer to her heart than I first thought, but Samantha said to keep going, after all, she will die if I don’t get that bullet out. I was sweating a lot now and Misty must have noticed that, she was now beside me with a cool, damp cloth, carefully wiping the sweat from my face and eyes.
What seemed like an hour, but was probably just minutes, the bullet was out! I was going to throw it away, but Misty grabbed it from my hand, wiped it off and put it in her pocket. Then she hugged me so tight I could barely breathe. Next was Yana and her bullet was in her abdomen, but fortunately it never hit anything major. Kristina again put our patient to sleep and I went after that bullet with Cindy helping along with this one. Cindy said I needed to operate on Valeria too, or she would feel left out. Sigh. I guess she’s probably right though and at least this one was easy.
Just as I was finishing, the older lady from the house came out with a large tray full of fried eggs and biscuits for the medical crew. But Autumn had a special tray for Jennifer and I, plus the cats. Pancakes! And coffee. The cats had been scouting around looking for mice, which they had been finding easily, but the mention of pancakes brought them running from every corner of the barn. We had to eat quickly though, I’m sure that once these soldiers don’t report back to their superiors, that will bring more of them out looking for us.
The farmer suggested using his old farm truck as it wouldn’t stand out as much as the army trucks. He was probably correct about that, and he would just tell the authorities we forced him to let us take his truck. It would be easier for carrying our wounded people too since it had some leftover hay in the back. It was big enough to carry all of us too. Sky had already destroyed several tires on each of the army trucks so they couldn’t use them to follow us any time soon.
We were long gone before any of the soldiers woke up. We made it to the rail line in about 2 hours, then Sky went with Rock to drive the truck down a country road that followed the rail line southward. After about half an hour, they parked the truck among some bushes and I called Sky back and she arrived with a terrified Rock. “Whoa, I do not like that mode of transportation at all,” he said, “give me an old truck any day!” Sky just giggled. I had a plan to stop the next train so we could get on board and Sky said it would work.
But then Kat communicated with me to stay put and they would come and pick us up at that spot. I asked if they planned on coming in a flying saucer, but she didn’t appear to find that amusing for some reason. I told her there are no airports of any kind near us and she knew that, but there is lots of flat land that can be used. I’m beginning to wonder if maybe she needs more sleep, or something. Then she mentioned a certain type of plane that can also be a helicopter, but I reminded her we don’t have one of those.
She said we do now, at least for this trip anyway. I was surprised we were able to rent one of those aircraft for a dangerous job like this, it could be shot out of the sky. However, Kat assured me we had one to use and one of our guys has actually flown one of these before, so he will be the pilot. It will be arriving tomorrow night, so we just need to stay alive and undetected until then. Well, that should be easy enough to do. Right. Anyway, following my original plan, but with a minor change, we stopped the freight train that came along and got on board on of the empty rail cars.
Then we jumped off right away on the other side. Fortunately there was no traffic on the road coming that other way just then. So, people would have seen us get on, but not get off again, and the train continued its journey. Holding that train back took all of Sky’s energy, so Angel is giving her some strength again right now. After Angel was finished I sat against a tree and told Sky to lie down and put her head on my lap for a while. She smiled and did so.
“That was one fantastic job Sky,” I said quietly, “thank you.” “I’m okay now, really,” she said, “Angel can share strength without losing any herself.” “I know,” I said, “but I want you to rest for a while anyway. Maybe you can help me think.” “What’s to think about?” she asked, “All we do now is wait for the plane.” “That’s what bothers me,” I said, “it sounds too easy, all it would take is to see that plane on radar and one missile takes it down.” “Okay, we can protect it though, right?” she asked.
“Can we protect an entire plane?” I ask in return, “Those planes are not small.” “They are big enough for all of us?” she asked. “Yes, we can all fit,” I said, “though I think it would have to be without seats.” “That’s no problem,” she said, “um, can it make it all the way without refueling?” “That’s a question I can’t answer,” I said, “guess it depends where it comes from, but I think that’s where we might have a problem.” However, another problem was on the way and Jennifer came running over saying that danger was near…
To Be Continued. ©2025 Steve McLeod.