For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
Hi, hi everyone!😺 I back again with mid week funnies to keep you laughing! Or chuckling. Or giggling. Or groaning. My human kinda boring today. He go out to shop first, then he make coffee when he come home, then he feed me, then he sit down and not do something. He just sit and stare. Very strange. Then there is knock at door and nice sounding woman tell my human of impending disaster that going to start next week. Now my human just sit, stare and pull hair. Plus bang head on table sometimes too.😹 Very strange reaction to impending disaster. I let him tell about that, not make much sense to me.🙄 Oh well, it will give my human something to do during impending disaster. Oops, here is funny for today…
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It was a cold winter day. An old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice and dropped in his fishing line. He was there for almost an hour, without even a nibble, when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice not far from him. The young boy dropped his fishing line and minutes later he hooked a Largemouth Bass.
The old man couldn’t believe his eyes but chalked it up to plain luck. But, shortly thereafter, the young boy pulled in another large catch.
The young boy kept catching fish after fish. Finally, the old man couldn’t take it any longer. “Son, I’ve been here for over an hour without even a nibble. You’ve been here only a few minutes and have caught a half dozen fish! How do you do it?”
The boy responded, “Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm.”
“What was that?” the old man asked.
Again the boy responded, “Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm.”
“Look,” said the old man, “I can’t understand a word you’re saying.”
The boy spit the contents of his mouth into his hand and said, “You have to keep the worms warm!”
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My boss calls me “The Computer.” Nothing to do with intelligence; I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes.
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Bidding at a local auction was proceeding furiously when the auctioneer suddenly announced, “A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing $10,000. If it is returned, he will pay a reward of $2,000.”
There was a moment’s silence, and then from the back of the room came the cry, “Two thousand five hundred!”
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Well, that it for today everyone. I hope you all have very nice rest of week! 
Muffin.😻 
©2024 Muffin McLeod.
After finding all those “rocks” under the table, the guys hauled them all out and found more gold bars hidden underneath the “rocks”. ”What do you think Alfred?” asked John, “That has to be worth a lot of money. There are a lot of diamonds and other gems in there.” John was right, and each type of gemstones were in their own smaller box inside the larger box. 
Alfred is an expert when it comes to gems, that was his “profession” when he was on the other side of the law. He began looking through the gems and he even knew who owned some of them originally and when they were stolen, plus their approximate value today. He said many of these were never advertised as being stolen as the owners wanted it kept quiet and due to the importance of these people, the police were willing to do that for them. 
Nearly all of the blue diamonds were owned by one family, except the two largest. Blue diamonds of that quality are worth nearly $4 million per carat. There was also pink diamonds that are over $1 million per carat. There were rubies that generally sell for over $1 million per carat, emeralds that sell for over $300,000 per carat. 
Alfred valued the haul at over $1 billion, with all of the gold and silver bars too. Lauren is going to be furious over losing all of this money. That is good. I would like to see her face when she finds out, and we will make sure she does find out. I told everyone they were coming home and that I would be sending the helicopters out to pick them up as quickly as possible, so they needed to get ready. We would leave all of our stuff to be picked up at a later date. 
The gold and silver would be left in the SUV’s, with a little surprise, if Lauren sends men in to try and retrieve them. Once the road has been plowed we would then go and get them ourselves, and that should not be too long from now. Baldwin is putting pressure on the State to plow that road quickly or he would have his own equipment do it and charge them for it. That would likely be quicker anyway. 
Now that I know Cheryl’s name I can call her family to let them know she is okay and looking forward to coming home. So, after talking with Rock I decided to call Jack Stillwater, Cheryl’s father. I certainly was not expecting what happened. I was in my bedroom with Beryan massaging my back, Dawn was also there to help Beryan move me around. 
I could not bend at all now and had to be lifted, walked around, basically everything had to be done for me. Since Bridgette was away and Chantelle had the flu and with several already in the clinic with a couple of our girls over there helping, it was decided that I should stay at home. Here I had a lot of help and the girls could take turns looking after me. 
Sky gave explicit orders that only the girls could look after me, not the guys. She said the girls would look after me properly, the guys would not. She is probably right about that. I think 2 or 3 more of our girls need to take some basic nurses training, we could definitely use extra nurses around here. Sky said there needs to be 2 nurses just to look after me since I get hurt more than everyone else put together. Not sure what she meant by that. 
Anyway, I had my phone on speaker since I was lying down and I did not mind if the girls heard the call. Jack answered the phone and I proceeded to tell him about Cheryl and he cut me off saying he no longer had a daughter named Cheryl. ”She shamed her whole family and our good family name by exposing herself to the whole world!” he yelled, “We do not want that horrible creature back in this house! Do you hear me?” 
“But she is your own daughter, how can you talk like that,” I replied, “she was forced into that, she did not go voluntarily. She needs her family now to help her after what she has been through.” ”What she has been through!!” he yelled, “Look what she has put us through! Everyone in town looking at us, pointing at us, because she decided to go into porn and shame us all. 
Well she is not welcome, like I said before, you keep her away from here because if she shows up I will personally grab her and toss her right off my property!” Then Cheryl’s mother got on the phone. ”You tell that horrible witch that we do not want her here,” she began, “as far as I am concerned our dog is better than she is! I hate her for what she did to us! You tell her that for me!” 
Then Jack came back on. ”There, you satisfied now?” he asked, “Now, don’t bother us anymore because she is no longer our daughter!” He then hung up. I was speechless for a while, then decided to call Rossana and tell her about the gems. She was excited and came to our place with some other people to check out the gems… 
To Be Continued.
©2024 Steve McLeod.