For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
PLEASE NOTE: Muffin’s Fun post is meant only for humor and should not be taken as serious. Thanks.
Hi, hi everyone!😺 I so happy to see all of you again today! And it Friday day! So, for all of you who really enjoy Friday then, Happy Friday to you! For me it all the same, I not care what day it is. It is a day. I eat. I sleep. I bite feet. So it good day. If you not like certain day, maybe try my way to make it fun day. I like biting feet part best. No, wait, I like eating part best. No, wait, I like sleeping part…no, wait, biting feet definitely…um…wait, sleeping is definitely the best…uh…no, that not it, it must be eating is best part and, and… sigh, maybe just say all parts are best parts in their part for part of the day. I think. Oh well, maybe we just get going with funnies for today…
======
Getting a hair stuck in your mouth has to be a million times more gross when you’re bald.
======
Heard a rumor about peanut butter but I don’t want to spread it.
======
I have a million-dollar figure — but it’s all loose change.
======
Two businessmen walk into a diner in the countryside. They have decided to stop there for lunch, so without ordering anything they sit down, take out sandwiches from their bags and begin to eat them.
The waiter sees this and says to them, “You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!”
So the businessmen look at each other, shrug, and swap sandwiches.
======
I keep adjusting the brightness control on my TV but it’s still as stupid as ever.
======
Caller: “There’s something wrong with my password. Whenever I type it, it just shows stars.”
Help Desk: “Those asterisks are to protect you. If someone is standing behind you, they can’t read your password.”
Caller: “Yeah, but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me.”
======
A sure way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
======
I was in a long line at 7:45 am at the grocery store that opened at 8:00 for seniors only. A young man came from the parking lot and tried to cut in at the front of the line, but an old lady beat him back into the parking lot with her cane.
He returned and tried to cut in again, but an old man punched him in the gut, then kicked him to the ground and rolled him away.
As he approached the line for the 3rd time he said, “If you people don’t let me unlock the door, none of you will ever get in to shop.”
======
That all for today everyone! Hope you all have nicest weekend, see you on Monday!
Muffin. 😽
©2024 Muffin McLeod.
Well, we had all the information we needed and now we had to wait until this evening when the nightclub opened. There were some problems ahead of us. For one thing some of us would be recognized by Carmen, I am quite sure she would have cameras watching the place, just in case. So I could not go in, neither could Mr. B, Rock, Mandar or Harvey.
Only men were allowed inside, which told me a lot about what would be going on in there tonight, and perhaps every night. Mr. B had men he could send in that Carmen would not know. I could send in Matt, Aari, John, Mac, Clarence, Alfred and Miles. We had the whole area surrounded with our team, Mr. B’s men and the police.
Fortunately Carmen is wanted on an international warrant, so Rossana was there with sufficient police to surround a large area. Although no women were allowed inside, I did have 2 women who could get in and hopefully get Sky back out again. Providing Sky wanted to come with them. Somehow I was not so sure she would come peacefully since she might be drugged.
Finally the time came and everyone was in place. That nightclub was full, it must be a special night, or is every night like this? I guess it would depend on what happens at this place. After a little while a man shows up on the stage and makes his announcement that Elizabeth would soon be coming out to dance for them. Sky then came out and everyone cheered and soon the music began.
But just as Sky began to dance she suddenly disappeared! “Sky, this is Kat, do you remember me?” she asked. “My name is Elizabeth,” answered Sky, “I do not know you. Now please, I need to dance or Cathy will be angry.” “Do you not remember Steve?” Kat asked again. Sky always did have quite the temper and it showed up now as well. She began yelling and swearing!
“I hate Steve!” she said angrily, “I hate Steve! He is an awful, horrible man and I hate him!” Fortunately Kat had a way of not only making Sky disappear with her, but also blocking her voice from being heard, which was certainly a good thing. Jennifer showed up then. “Sky, this is Jennifer,” she said, “do you remember me?”
“No I do not!” she said firmly, “Now leave me alone!” “Do you remember Muffin?” asked Jennifer. “Muff, Muffin?” she asked very quietly, “My little gray kitty cat?” “Yes, she is very worried about you,” said Jennifer, “would you like to see Muffin again? Then you can do your dance. The schedule has been changed and you are to dance later.” “Oh, then it is okay,” she said, “where is my little Muffin?”
“We will take you to her,” said Jennifer. They walked to the main entrance which had been locked, but Matt and John were there and smashed the doors open to let them out. Once out Matt yelled for everyone to get on the floor under the tables to stay safe, or they would be shot. They told them to stay there until the police came. Three men with guns showed up on the stage, but were quickly shot by Mr. B’s men, then they and my team left quickly.
“Trouble in the club Cathy,” said one man, “I think Elizabeth has been kidnapped, she just disappeared while on stage. Then several men got up and shot our boys and left right away.” “Steve is back!” said Cathy, “He has a way of making people disappear. That is how that Kat woman suddenly appeared and killed Boxer, she had been invisible. If only he would work with me! Come on, we have to get out of here through our secret tunnel.”
She grabbed her bag and looked up. “YOU!” she exclaimed, “you are working with that stupid PI, you traitor!” The two men with her pulled out guns, but the men with Mr. B shot first. “Now you are all alone, dear Carmen,” he said, “I may not be able to recover all that money you stole from me, but that does not really matter now.
You must be the most cruel, evil person alive on this planet, but soon that will change and grass will be growing on top of you. Although I would not be surprised if you killed that grass.” “Wait, I am unarmed,” she said, “you would be arrested for murder! Why not work together instead?” Mr. B pulled his gun out and shot, 10 times. “Go check her,” said Mr. B. One of his men did so. “I doubt there is anything left of her heart,” he said.
“I doubt she ever had one,” said Mr. B as they walked away, joining us a few minutes later. “How is your wife?” he asked me. I just shook my head. “When I go near her she screams and swears terribly, saying how much she hates me,” I said. “She is drugged, dearest Steve,” said Jennifer, “once that wears off she will be okay again. After all, she was fine when she had the bank employee contact you.”
“True,” I said, “I just need more of your patience.” “It will all work out,” said Mr. B, “and Carmen will never hurt anyone else again. Thank you for letting me join you.” “My pleasure Mr. B,” I said, “I was happy to have your help on this one.”
To Be Continued.
©2024 Steve McLeod.