For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
Good afternoon everyone! Here it is, May 5th, it is cloudy with a temperature of 32F (0C) in the afternoon. Plus there is a fairly strong NW wind as well. And periodically there are snowflakes falling from those clouds. But then, yesterday there was more than just snowflakes, at times it was snowing, a lot. Fortunately the snow melted as it landed on the ground. It was just warm enough for that to happen. Hard to believe this is May, feels more like early April. Oh well, that’s spring here in the north, we never know what is coming next. Anyway, here is some humor to get us laughing, chuckling, giggling or groaning, to help warm us up!
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Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.
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A pre-birth class was aimed at couples who already had at least one child. The instructor raised the issue of breaking the news to the older child. It went like this:
“Some parents,” she said, “tell the older child, ‘We love you so much we decided to bring another child into this family.’ But think about that. Ladies, what if your husband came home one day and said, ‘Honey, I love you so much I decided to bring home another wife.’?”
One of the women spoke up immediately. “Does she cook?”
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People blame things on the previous generations because they don’t like the only alternative.
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An elderly couple decided they just spent too much time and energy complaining about all their aches and pains.
“Let’s agree to not say a word about our ailments,” suggested the wife. “We’ll talk about something else or say nothing at all.”
“Great idea!” replied the husband.
Two months later, they got a message from Alexa. “Alexa is wondering if you are both OK. For the past two months we have picked up no verbal communication in your household.”
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The dating site says this guy has a corner office with a view of the whole city; he drives a $600,000 vehicle; and he’s paid to travel. Turns out he’s a bus driver.
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Buddy and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year, and every year Buddy would say, “Edna, I’d like to ride in that helicopter.”
Edna always replied, “I know Buddy, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks.”
One year Buddy and Edna went to the fair, and Buddy said, “Edna, I’m 85 years old. If I don’t ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.”
To this, Edna replied, “Buddy, that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks.”
The pilot overheard the couple and said, “Folks, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word, I won’t charge you a penny! But if you say one word it’s fifty dollars.”
Buddy and Edna agreed and up they went.
The pilot did all kinds of crazy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, trying to elicit even a peep, but still not a word!
When they landed, the pilot turned to Buddy and said, “That’s amazing, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn’t. I am impressed!”
Buddy replied, “Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Edna fell out, but you know, fifty bucks is fifty bucks!”
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There was a businesswoman who had just completed a huge development project for an obscenely rich investor.
When she was leaving the investor’s office he offered her diamonds, rubies and a silver-plated luxury car, but she declined.
The investor insisted, so she said that she just started to golf and maybe a set of golf clubs would be nice.
A few weeks later she received a message from him: “So far I have bought you three golf clubs. I hope you aren’t disappointed that only two of them have swimming pools.”
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They say an elephant never forgets — but how much does an elephant really have to remember?
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There it is for today everyone, I hope you enjoy some of these funnies! Have a great week and God bless! Steve. 😃 ©2026 Steve McLeod.
While Jennifer and the Wildcats were having breakfast, Dimitri had come in with 6 other men to have breakfast as well. The girls spotted him right away, but they decided not to do anything just yet, after all, they had just begun eating and they didn’t want their pancakes to get cold. So, they would just keep an eye on them for now, especially Jennifer and Kristina. That way they could take care of any guns that might show up before any of the girls are shot.
Meanwhile, back with Marchetti, who was at his office early that morning for an important meeting. “Hey Mr. Marchetti,” said Giorgio, “check out the news.” Apparently the police had an important update on the murder case of Vincent. Now they found his wife’s body in their house, so obviously she was not a suspect anymore. It was also obvious that she had been murdered, they said. Marchetti smiled at that news. “Well, well,” he said, “Dimitri has done his job again. And they are looking for Dimitri as the killer. That is perfect, just perfect!”
Marchetti was laughing now. “I wanted Rocco to kill Dimitri,” said Marchetti, “but now he won’t have to, the cops will take care of him for us!” “Unless he’s actually working for the cops too,” said Nilo. “We will soon find out,” said Marchetti, “if the cops find him and let him go, for whatever reason, then we know he’s working both sides. Then Rocco can have him. But for now, call Rocco and tell him to stay away from Dimitri.
And, who knows, maybe those bad puppy dogs will kill Dimitri for us since they seemed to like Carmen for some reason. Then the cops can go after them and chase them back to the frozen wasteland of Canada where they belong.” Giorgio then called Rocco and told him to stay away from Dimitri for now. I had called Rossana to see if the police could make that announcement about finding Carmen’s body in the house, without saying that she had died a year ago. Rossana liked that idea and hopefully it might bring Dimitri out in the open for us, and it worked.
The Wildcats were wearing their T-shirts with their name on it, a fact that was noticed by Dimitri and his men. “Those Wildcats are a hot bunch of women,” said one man. They all agreed. A couple of the men then waved and winked at the girls. The girls smiled and waved back. “I didn’t think men winked anymore,” said Hope, “kind of old fashioned.” One man then got up and came over and put his arm around Jennifer. “Hey babe,” he said, “you’re the hottest gal at this table. How would you like to come and sit with me for a while?”
“I’m sorry handsome,” she said, “but I’m a married woman.” “Hey, that don’t matter to me babe,” he said, “that just makes you more interesting.” He then bent over to give Jennifer a kiss, but she stopped him. “I think you better go sit down,” she said, “you’re moving along a bit too fast for this old woman.” “Old?” he queried, “Why you are not old at all, you’re just perfect to me.” The other men, having noticed their friend was still over talking with those beautiful girls, they decided to come over as well. That’s when Jennifer and 5 of the Wildcats stood up to greet their new “friends”.
Once all of them were close by, Jennifer decided to lead the way with a little fun. Her man tried once again to kiss her so she slammed her arm into his stomach causing him to bend over groaning. The other girls did similar things with their men, either with elbows, knees or fists. Then Jennifer told them all to return to their own table and leave them alone. The hotel manager saw what was happening and called the police who happened to be close by and came in quite quickly. The manager met them and pointed to the Wildcats so the police came to talk with them.
“We hear you have been causing trouble,” said the one officer, “we don’t tolerate that kind of thing in our city.” “They started it,” said Jennifer, “and that man over there in the black jacket is someone you are looking for, Dimitri, also called the Lizard. He is wanted for murder right now so I would think you should be spending your time with him, not us.” The two officers looked over at the men. Dimitri and his friends stood up quickly with their guns out and told the police to keep their distance. But suddenly they dropped their guns yelling about how hot they were.
However, Dimitri ran for the door and just as he opened it a young woman was standing there and she touched him, knocking him onto his back. By that time more police had arrived and arrested Dimitri and the others. “Sky, you bad girl,” said Jennifer smiling, “shocking that man like the way you did.” “That’s me,” said Sky, “just a regular Bad Girl.” All the girls laughed, then went back to their rooms. A couple of hours later the girls heard on the news that Dimitri had escaped custody before they got him to jail. Apparently he had a hidden gun that was not detected during their initial search of the man.
“He didn’t have any other guns,” said Jennifer, “or any other weapons of any kind. They let him escape.” Jennifer then told me, so I called Rossana about it. She told me they had been thinking there was one or two officers working for Marchetti and now they know for sure which two. Giorgio then told Marchetti that Dimitri had escaped. “I knew it!” said Marchetti, “He is working both sides. Okay Rocco, get him today and I will pay you triple.” “Consider it done Mr. Marchetti,” he said, and off he went. Rocco went driving along some streets where he figured Dimitri might be hanging out and sure enough he spotted Dimitri.
He stopped the car and honked once and Dimitri came running over and opened the front passenger door. But just as he was about to get in, his eyes got big and Rocco shot once. Dimitri fell dead onto the street and Rocco sped away. He was using a stolen car and quickly stopped on another street and got into his own car and drove away. People were walking back and forth along the street, paying no attention to what just happened. Later, on a news headline it was mentioned finding Dimitri’s body on the street with a single gunshot wound to the head.
“That Rocco is better than Dimitri,” said Giorgio. “Yeah, for some things,” said Marchetti, “but Dimitri was more ruthless, so he was better for certain jobs.” Just then Rocco returned and Marchetti had his money waiting. Then he handed him another envelope which Marchetti only used for certain very important jobs. “This is for a rat,” said Marchetti, “a cop in our midst.” He then nodded toward Giorgio. “Take him somewhere and come back without him,” said Marchetti. “Hey, wait,” said Giorgio, “you’re wrong, I’m no cop!”
Later, at the flat where he lived with his wife, there was a knock at the door and she answered. As she opened the door, Giorgio’s body fell inside, with a knife still in him. She dragged him inside and locked the door quickly, then called the police. Rossana called me and let me know what had happened. However, she told me again to keep away from Marchetti. There was too much at stake and they wanted to pull down his entire organization, which was spread over 3 countries.
But we did get permission to thoroughly check Vincent and Carmen’s house for valuables. Carmen had told Courtney that there must be something valuable in that house, but she didn’t know what. It was shortly after telling Courtney about that when she suddenly disappeared. So, the Wildcats and Bad Girls will do that, along with their cats. The Black Wolves will come back home, since the girls are able to take care of themselves…
To Be Continued. ©2026 Steve McLeod.