For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
Hi everyone! Another week has gone by and we are back with some more chuckles and giggles to enjoy. Or not. Perhaps they will make you groan instead. Or maybe you will just sit there and scratch your head. Perhaps some joke will turn on a light. You never know, it really just might. So, let’s get started and have some fun. With a chuckle or a laugh at a joke or a pun.
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If you swallow uranium, you will probably get atomic ache.
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The perks of being over 70:
> People no longer consider you a hypochondriac
> There is nothing left to learn the hard way
> Neighbors don’t complain about your parties
> Things you buy now won’t wear out
> Your investment in health insurance starts to pay off
> Elevators finally play good music
> You don’t have to hold in your stomach no matter who walks into the room
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A man fell into a pit and couldn’t get himself out…
~ A subjective person came along and said, “I feel for you down there.”
~ An objective person walked by and said, “It’s logical that someone would fall down there.”
~ A mathematician calculated how deep the pit was.
~ A news reporter wanted the exclusive story on the pit.
~ An IRS agent asked if he was paying taxes on the pit.
~ A self-pitying person said, “You haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen my pit.”
~ A psychologist noted, “Your mother and father are to blame for your being in that pit.”
~ A self-esteem therapist said, “Believe in yourself and you can get out of that pit.”
~ An optimist said, “Things could be worse.”
~ A pessimist claimed, “Things will get worse.”
~ The man in the pit said, “Sure is a busy neighborhood.”
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FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in California that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud.
After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the dozens of agents had worked up quite an appetite. The agent in charge of the investigation called a nearby pizza parlor with delivery service to order a quick dinner for his colleagues. The following telephone conversation took place and was recorded by the FBI because they were taping all conversations at the hospital.
Agent: Hello. I’d like to order 19 large pizzas and 67 cans of soda.
Pizza Man: And where would you like them delivered?
Agent: We’re over at the psychiatric hospital.
Pizza Man: The psychiatric hospital?
Agent: That’s right. I’m an FBI agent.
Pizza Man: You’re an FBI agent?
Agent: That’s correct. Just about everybody here is.
Pizza Man: And you’re at the psychiatric hospital?
Agent: That’s correct. And make sure you don’t go through the front doors. We have them locked. You’ll have to go around to the back service entrance to deliver the pizzas.
Pizza Man: And you say you’re all FBI agents?
Agent: That’s right. How soon can you have them here?
Pizza Man: Everyone at the psychiatric hospital is an FBI agent?
Agent: That’s right. We’ve been here all day and we’re starving.
Pizza Man: How are you going to pay for all of this?
Agent: I have my checkbook right here.
Pizza Man: And you’re all FBI agents?
Agent: That’s right. Everyone here is an FBI agent. Can you remember to bring the pizzas and sodas to the service entrance in the rear? We have the front doors locked.
Pizza Man: Yeah. Suuuure.
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Once I got angry at the chef of an Italian restaurant. So I gave him a pizza my mind.
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That’s all for today everyone! I hope you all have a great week and God bless!
Steve. ©2026 Steve McLeod.
Jennifer is back at the chateau now as well, but the other ghosts stayed behind to continue looking for Elizabeth’s children. They must be in that building somewhere, unless they have already been killed, or perhaps sold to someone else. Either way, Nikolas and his sister Andressa are going to pay for what they have done to those children, and our girls. Sky was in the room with Nikolas and Andressa when they were talking and mentioned that our girls would be dead within 24 hours.
That means they have been given some kind of poison, so after getting this information I told Samantha right away and she is doing some tests on the girls. That’s probably why they appeared to be drugged, they were. Mandar arranged for Elizabeth to fly here today and he had his security people guarding her. Jennifer has taken the Wildcats to the city airport to pick her up and they should be home soon. I need some answers from Elizabeth because this case doesn’t make sense, in some ways at least. Meanwhile, back with Nikolas and Andressa.
“Hey Nikolas,” said Johann, “I found this on the one bed in the room where we kept those Investigator women. It wasn’t there before, but it was when I checked it a second time.” It was an envelope addressed to Nikolas, so he opened it and there was a note for him and Andressa.
“Dear Bauer, You made a serious mistake kidnapping my young niece and her friends and it is something you will regret. That is a promise. My name is Aari Jensen, President of The Black Wolves, a large criminal organization in Canada. Although my niece and I are on opposite sides of the law, she is still my family, and no one touches my family. No one. I decided to rescue my niece and her friends but I hear they have just 24 hours to live, so that means you and your sister have 24 hours to live, or perhaps less if my niece dies sooner than the time you gave. If you don’t believe me, just step outside of your building and see how long you live. You better hope that my niece lives, that way maybe you can live as well. Aari Jensen”
He then left his phone number. After reading the note, he handed it to Andressa who had gone to another room to get coffee and had just returned. “Oh, this is just great!” she exclaimed, “Now we have someone else to worry about.” “He can’t just kill us anyway,” said Nikolas, “that would be murder.” “I don’t think that would worry a man like him, you idiot,” she responded. “I looked up those Black Wolves,” said Ruben, “there is about 500 of them. They are definitely a tough bunch, not an organization that we can fight.” “Naturally one of those women had to be his niece,” said Andressa.
“I wonder which one it is?” asked Nikolas. “Does it really matter now?” she asked in return. “Well, no, I guess not,” he replied, “but how are we going to get out of this?” “Why not tell him the antidote for that drug you gave those women?” asked Ruben. “That would keep them alive,” said Andressa, “and keep us alive too.” So, Nikolas called Aari and said he would sell him the antidote for just 5 million euros. Aari laughed and said he would give them their lives in exchange for the antidote. Andressa said it was a deal and she would meet him outside their main door with the antidote.
Aari agreed but warned her not to try any tricks. She was standing outside when a black van pulled up and Aari, with Oskar, got out. Sky was on the inside by the door and a man was there with an assault rifle, but he suddenly screamed and dropped it, then he dropped dead, falling partly out the door. “Looks like a double-cross,” said Aari angrily. “No, wait!” she exclaimed, “I had nothing to do with that!” But Oskar grabbed her, pushing her into the van and Aari got back inside. They then drove off. “Is he dead?” asked Nikolas.
“Yep, and not a mark on him,” said Johann, “guess this wasn’t such a good idea.” “Yes, I can see that,” grumbled Nikolas, “hopefully they will let her go when they see the antidote works.” Meanwhile, back at the chateau. We have the antidote and we have Andressa locked safely in one of our detention rooms. However, she will not see us, only Aari and other Black Wolves. We prepared her detention room with all the same comforts they gave our girls. She had been put to sleep for the trip and she woke up on her mat on the floor with her hands and feet in our rubber handcuffs.
Once she was awake Aari and Burk went in to see her. “Nice place you have here,” said Andressa, “how long do you plan to keep me here?” “I just want to make sure the antidote works,” said Aari, “I don’t wish to keep you around any longer than is necessary. But, rest assured, if it doesn’t work, the only place you will go is to an unmarked grave somewhere. But I don’t understand why you and your brother would ask such an outrageous ransom for those 3 children, when it is obvious their mother can’t pay.”
“We don’t want the money,” said Andressa, “we know she can’t pay, but she has something far more valuable that we want. If she is willing to cooperate, then she can have her brats back. I hate children so much!” “I have checked on this woman,” said Aari, “but she doesn’t seem to have anything of value whatever.” “Perhaps not to you,” said Andressa, “but for us, it is something very important.”
Aari smiled at her. “Now I understand,” he said, “but I think you are getting into something a little too big for your organization. It is a risky and deadly business, Miss Bauer. You would be wise to stay out of it.” He and Burk then left the room, locking it securely. Elizabeth was now at the chateau and Aari was talking to me.
To Be Continued. ©2026 Steve McLeod.