Muffin’s Monday Chuckles! #9

Hi everyone, Muffin here!😸 Happy Monday to all of you and thank you for coming back to read funnies today. We get started right away so you can start laughing…

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One day a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife, “What setting do I use on the washing machine?”

“It depends,” she replied. “What does it say on your shirt?”

He yelled back, “DENVER BRONCOS.”

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If a cookie falls on the floor and you pick it up…that is a squat, right?

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I need a speed bump between my brain and my mouth!

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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction…I read to the end and say, “Well, that is not going to happen.”

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I came, I saw, I forgot what I was doing. Retraced my steps, got lost on the way back. Now I have no idea what is going on.

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Dear Mr. Crossman:

Thank you for your letter of May 15.

After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your firm.  This year I have had been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite Crossman Inc’s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my needs at this time.  Therefore, I will initiate employment with your firm immediately following graduation.  I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future candidates.

Sincerely,

Bob Comeback

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Well, that all for today, but tomorrow I back with funny one liner funnies. Have nice day everyone!

Muffin.😻

©2023 Steve McLeod.

Happy Mother’s Day! Poem Share.

This is a little poem that I wrote for my mother many years ago for Mother’s Day. She passed away that same year. It is not very well written, but it came from my heart for her. I still miss her greatly and my love is still there for her.

MOTHER

She carried me gently all through

The time when nothing I could do.

She held me in my time of fear;

I thank you, Lord, for mother dear.

She helped me learn how to walk,

She taught me carefully to talk,

She guided well as none other;

I thank you, Lord, for my mother.

She helped me all the way through school,

And helped me learn the ‘golden rule’.

She prayed for me when ’twas needed;

Thank you, Lord, that mother pleaded.

A lot of time with me she spent,

Most precious time that she lent;

She gave so much, as no other,

I thank you, Lord, for my mother.

Here I sit and often ponder,

My love for her still grows fonder,

We shared a lot with one another;

I thank you, Lord, for my mother.

©2023 Steve McLeod.