For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
Hi everyone! Here we are with some more humor from my collection of humor that I have collected over the years. I have no idea where some of these things come from, but it’s all good clean fun to hopefully give us a smile, a chuckle or even a good roaring laugh! Laughter is good, it makes us feel good, and it just brightens our day a little. So, here they are:
As the manager of our hospital’s softball team, I was responsible for returning equipment to the proper owners at the end of the season.
When I walked into the surgery department carrying a bat that belonged to one of the surgeons, I passed several patients and their families in a waiting area.
I heard one man say to his wife, “Look, honey, here comes your anesthesiologist.”
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A couple is watching the news. They hear that a beautiful actress is marrying an athlete who’s famous for his lack of IQ and common sense.
Husband: “I’ll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives!”
Wife: “Why thank you, dear!”
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TEACHER: Why didn’t you study?
STUDENT: A year has 365 days for you to study. After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left. There are 50 days in the summer that are way too hot to work so there are only 263 days left. We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that counts up to 122 days so now we’re left with 141 days. If we fooled around for only 1 hour a day, 15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days. We spend 2 hours eating each day – 30 days are used in this way in the year, and we are left with 96 days in our year. We spend 1 hour a day speaking to friends and family, that takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days. Exams and tests take up at least 35 days in your year; hence you are only left with 46 days. Taking off approximately 40 days of holidays, you are only left with 6 days. Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days; you’re left with 3 days in the year to study! Let’s say you only go out for 2 daysβ¦you’re left with 1 day. But that 1 day is your birthday. That’s why I did not study.
Teacher: Class dismissed.
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Some people are like clouds, once they disappear, it’s a beautiful day.
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You’re having a bad day when you see a sign in your dentist’s office that says, βNo pain, no gain.β
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I ate a kid’s meal at McDonald’s today. His mom got really angry.
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Three mothers are sitting on a park bench talking about (what else?) how much their sons love them.
Sadie says, “You know the Chagall painting hanging in my living room? My son, Arnold, bought that for me for my 75th birthday. What a good boy he is and how much he loves his mother.”
Minnie says,”You call that love? You know the Eldorado Cadillac I got for Mother’s Day? That’s from my son Bernie. What a doll.”
Shirley says, “That’s nothing. You know my son Stanley? He sees a psychoanalyst on Park Ave. Five sessions a week. And what does he talk about? Me!”
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Thanks for reading today! I hope you all have a wonderful day and God bless!
Steve and Muffin.
Thank you, Steve and Muffin, for the belly laugh!!!! It made my day, as well as, the pic! π
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Happy to hear you got a laugh from them Renee!πππΉ
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Yes! Itβs good to laugh with friends! πΉ πΉ
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Yep, so true!ππΈ
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All good ones π
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Glad you enjoyed them Sheree!πππΉ
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ππΉππΉ
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Happy that you liked them Rossana!ππΉ
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Great ones Steve. More folks need to spread laughter
Laugh in the face of adversity. It gets confused
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Thanks Mr. Ohh, glad you liked them! I try to do this once in awhile, and it has been awhile!ππΉ
Oh, I like that one!
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I think Muffin should start editing your comments
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Muffin?π³ I don’t know if she would want to do that.π€
Meow,meow!=Me want to, you not let me.πΊ
Hey, this is my comment.π€
He want me to do comment, so really it my comment.πΎ
Hmm, maybe next time.π
Mr. Ohh witness, you say next time!πΈ
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I’m on your side Muffin
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YAY!!πΊπΊπΉπΉ
Sigh.ππ
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Made me happy to see all the jokes you mentioned ! Have to write them down ! …hope Muffin will not eat any more things that make her sick…mind you, we adults should do the same ! βοΈβοΈπΊππ
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So glad that you enjoyed them Sharon! Have a nice day!ππΉπ
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These were very funny, Steve. ππ. Appreciate you posting these from time to time. ππ
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Thanks Beverly, glad that you were able to get some chuckles!ππΉ
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πππ I love the actress and the athlete the most.
I’ve also read this around in meme’s. Some people are like clouds, once they disappear, itβs a beautiful day. I think it originated from a manga of a young boy signing a contract with a demon.
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Hi Jessica! Nice to see you again! Yes, that is a good one!ππΉ
That is one of the newer jokes I picked up so it’s quite possible.
I hope you have a sunny week Jessica!ππΊπ
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Not that I’m trying to make you jealous but yes, it’s been sunny here all week. I hope it keeps going π
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Are you sure you’re not trying to make me jealous?π€ππ
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π³ Was I too obvious? π π€£
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Maybe just a teeny bit!ππΉ
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π
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Hahaha…thank you Steve for the good laugh! That student at least is very good at math π
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My pleasure Ribana! If it was me I could never remember all that, I would need to have it written down and that would be less effective!ππΉ
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πππLOL, that was funny.. super fun… enjoyed it Uncle Steve, last one was epicππππ₯°π€ Hilarious one..βΊοΈ
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So glad you enjoyed it Simon!π Yep, I liked that last one too!πππ€£π€£
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