Monday’s Chuckles! #1

Good morning to each and everyone on this fine Monday! Muffin gave up her new job looking for funnies each week, or perhaps she got tired of chasing after me to look for funnies for her to use.🤔 One or the other.😾 Really, it was the second one, honest, it was!😹 Whew, I narrowly avoided sore feet that time. Oh well, here I am with this weeks chuckles which I am sure you will enjoy. At least, I hope so. Even just a little. One or two? Anyway, here we are for this week…

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We were never intended to pat ourselves on the back. Otherwise our hinges would be different.

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This one is a true story…

When my now 14-year-old daughter was 3 and her younger brother was getting into everything, she asked, “Mommy, can we put him back, now?”

Deciding to take this opportunity as a teaching moment in how siblings should treat each other, I explained to her that we could not put him back – that her brother was a gift from God. 

She looked up at me with her big blue eyes and responded, “I understand, Mommy. God didn’t want him either.”

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Anyone remember the good ol’ day, before Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter? When you had to take a photo of your dinner, then get the film developed, then go around to all your friends’ houses to show them the picture of your dinner. No? Me either.

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In the Phoenix airport, they announced that the flight to Vegas was full.

The airline was looking for volunteers to give up their seats. In exchange, they’d give you a $100 voucher for your next flight and a first class seat in the plane leaving an hour later. About eight people ran up to the counter to take advantage of the offer.

About 15 seconds later all eight of those people sat down grumpily as the lady behind the ticket counter said, “If there is anyone else OTHER than the flight crew who’d like to volunteer, please step forward.”

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Cats can memorize 120 commands, but they don’t want to. (Muffin really likes this one)😹😹

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A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, “I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards.”

The brand new waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, “This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?”

“No,” the cook said. “Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of  headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of crisp bacon.

“Oh, OK!” said the waitress. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.

The trucker asked, “What are the beans for?”

She replied, “I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!”

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Well, there it is for today everyone, I hope I can fill Muffin’s paw prints okay with these selections, she is a tough one to beat. Have a great Monday, keep smiling and God bless!

Steve and Muffin (I did need her help a bit) 😂😹

©2023 Steve McLeod.