Muffin’s Fun! #5

Hi, hi everyone!😺 It Monday and I back again with more fun funnies for you to enjoy! We kinda missed Friday and my human apple guises to all of you for that since it was his fault because he completely forgot what day it was. So he says. I not so sure about that. We have long discussion about that one. Now he have nice pattern of little dots on back on legs. It not easy to make such pretty pattern since he keep running around and screaming. I tell him he should be more quiet or maybe he disturb neighbor humans.😾😹 Oh well, here is funnies for today…

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For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9 A.M., on the dot. He had never missed a day and was never late. Consequently, when on one particular day 9 A.M. passed without Johnson’s arrival, it caused a sensation. All work ceased and the boss himself, looking at his watch and muttering, came out into the corridor.

Finally, precisely at ten, Johnson showed up, clothes dusty and torn, his face scratched and bruised, his glasses bent. He limped painfully to the time clock, punched in, and said, aware that all eyes were upon him. “I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs in the subway. Nearly killed myself,” he said.

The boss replied, “And to roll down two flights of stairs took you an entire hour?”

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Losing weight doesn’t seem to be working for me, so from now I’m going to concentrate on getting taller.

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A couple is watching the news.  They hear that a beautiful actress is marrying an athlete who’s famous for his lack of IQ and common sense. 

Husband: “I’ll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives!”

Wife: “Why thank you, dear!”

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Hold on while I overthink this.

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A woman was found guilty in traffic court and when asked for her occupation she said she was a schoolteacher.

The judge rose from the bench. “Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court.”

He smiled with delight. “Now sit down at that table and write ‘I will not run a red light’ five hundred times.”

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Well, that all for today, I hope you all have very nice Monday day! 

Muffin.😻 

©2024 Muffin McLeod