Muffin’s Fun! #28

Hi to everyone and Happy Friday to all you humans out there! And a big meow to all my cat friends out there too! Also a special Happy International Women’s Day to all my human women readers! It seem like sorta cold day today so I curled up on my favorite chair with warm blanket and just tell my human what to write for me. He listen better today so I not bite him, even though he still late doing this. Maybe we have another discussion about that a bit later, after my morning nap is done. Anyway, here is funnies for today…

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I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you didn’t get it.

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A motorcycle cop was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix.

The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest. Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors hadn’t told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown down enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.

Taped firmly across his hairy chest were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the ultra sticky kind. Written in large black letters was the sentence, “Get well soon! Luv, from the nurse you gave a ticket to last week!”

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Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

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Talk is cheap. That’s why so many people do so much of it.

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I really don’t mind getting older, but my body is taking it badly.

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I miss the 90’s when bread was still good for you and no one knew what kale was.

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During his wedding rehearsal, the groom approached his pastor with an unusual offer. “I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows, and leave out the ‘love, honor, obey, and forsake all others’ part.” He pressed a $100 bill in the pastor’s hand and walked away with a satisfied smile.

On the day of the wedding, the groom was feeling pretty pleased when the pastor got to the part where the vows are exchanged.  The pastor looked him in the eye and asked, “Will you promise to bow before her, obey whatever command she gives, fulfill her every wish, serve her breakfast each morning, and swear before God that you’ll not look at another woman as long as you both shall live?”

The groom gulped and looked astonished, but he finally said “Yes” in a tiny voice. He then leaned in toward the pastor and whispered, “I thought we had a deal!”

The pastor pressed the $100 bill back into his hand and whispered in return,

“She made me a much better offer.”

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Well, that all for today, back to my nap and I hope you all have a very nice weekend time!

Muffin.

©2024 Muffin McLeod.