Muffin’s Fun! #37

PLEASE NOTE: Muffin’s Fun posts are for humor only. They should not be taken seriously. Thanks!

Hey, hey everyone! Muffin here, back with more fabulous fun funnies for Friday! Wow, we awake real early today. Clock say it was 3:30am! Then I remember, it laundry day, so my human need to be up early to wash clothes. He like to do his laundry early before it get too busy. He first in line today, last week he second and lady ahead of him was using all washers and driers, so he have to wait a bit. Today, second in line not get there until 5am. She nice lady with little teeny tiny dog, only big as me. Not know they make dogs so small. My human say some dogs even teeny tinier. Wow, that tiny! Should just get cat, we cuter anyway! Hehehe! Here are funnies for today…

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The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.

After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees, and minutes the teacher
asked, “Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes
north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude . . .?”

After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, “I guess you would be eating
alone.”

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Strawberries: Some have 210 seeds, some have 235 seeds. Who knew??

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A man goes to the doctor with a swollen foot. After a careful examination, the doctor gives the man a pill big enough to choke a horse.

“I’ll be right back with some water,” the doctor tells him.

The doctor has been gone a while and the man loses patience. He hobbles out to the drinking fountain, forces the pill down his throat and gobbles down water until the pill clears his throat. He hobbles back into the examining room.

Just then the doctor comes back with a bucket of warm water, “Okay, after the tablet dissolves, soak that foot for about 20 minutes.”

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An accountant got out of bed one morning and complained that he had not slept a wink.

“Why didn’t you count sheep?” his wife asked.

“I did, and that’s what got me into trouble,” the accountant replied. “I made a mistake the first hour, and it took until morning to correct it.”

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I used to spin toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe.

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I told my wife how thankful I was to have someone I enjoyed being quarantined with. She said, “Must be nice.”

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A man finished baby-proofing his house and his wife says, “Aw, honey, I thought you said you didn’t want to have kids?”

He responds, “I don’t. Let’s see them get in now.”

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Well, that all for today, but I come back on Monday with more fun funnies for you! Have nicest weekend to all of you!

Muffin.

©2024 Muffin McLeod.