Muffin’s Fun! #73

Hi, hi to everyone!😺 Meow, meow to all cats! It beautiful morning here, cloudy, wet and cool. My human disagree, he say it too cool. I say it just right. He say no. I say yes. He putting bandages on his legs right now. The ones with the pretty red hearts. I want him to play and chase me this morning since it so cool. So, I bite foot and he dance on other foot and hit knee on door frame. That make him do human purring really loud and it sound so nice.😻 So, I try to help him forget pain in knee by biting back of leg. He bend over real quick and hit head on door knob handle thingy. Then he hold head and really purr loud and back up hitting his back on corner of storage cabinet which make him go, ow, ow, ow and oh, oh, oh and he then sit on bed rubbing head, rubbing knee, rubbing leg, so I decide to help and rub back but my claws get stuck and my human go AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, I go eat breakfast.😹 Here are funnies for today…

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LAWS OF LIFE

1. When ones hands are covered in oil, grease, or glue, your nose will start
to itch.

2. Your insurance will cover everything but what has happened.

3. When things seem easy to do, it’s because you haven’t followed all the
instructions. 

4. The cost is always higher than one budgets for.

5. The probability that one will spill food on one’s clothes is directly
proportional to its need to be clean. 

6. Each and every body sitting on a commode will cause the doorbell to ring.

7. Wind velocity will increase proportionally to the cost of ones hairdo.

8. After discarding something not used for years, you will need it one week
later.

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When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

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A 6th grade teacher posed the following problem to one of her arithmetic classes:

“A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?”

After a very long silence in the classroom, one little boy raised his hand and with complete sincerity in his voice, answered, “A lawyer!”

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You know you’re into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

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A rookie drill instructor escorted his first batch of new recruits to the mess hall. He told them, “There are three rules in this mess hall: Shut up! Eat up! Get up!”

Checking to see that he had everyone’s attention, he asked, “What is the first rule?”

Much to the amusement of the other instructors, 60 privates yelled in unison, “Shut up, Drill Sergeant!”

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I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

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That all for today everyone, hope you all have very nice day!

Muffin. 😽

©2024 Muffin McLeod.