Muffin’s Fun! #86

Hi again to everyone!😻 A big meow to my cat readers! I hope you all having nice middle of week day. It very nice here, still hot, although my human say it just nice temperature. I say it hot. He say it just nice, but getting close to hot. I say it hot. He say no, not hot yet. I say it hot. He do lots of screaming. I say it hot. He say it hot too. I knew he would see it my way, just take a little bit of time.😹 It nice sitting out on balcony room though. Except plants getting so big it hard for me to get close to edge so I can see what going on down below. There some little kids splashing in pool of water. Not sure why they want to get all wet, human people can be strange sometimes. But little kids seem to have fun. Anyway, here is funnies for Wednesday…

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I have a friend who filled his car with gas at a self-service gas station. After he had paid and driven away, he realized that he had left the gas cap on top of his car. He stopped and looked and, sure enough, it was lost.

Well, he thought for a second and realized that other people must have done the same thing, and that it was worth going back to look by the side of the road since even if he couldn’t find his own gas cap, he might be able to find one that fit.

Sure enough, after only a short time of searching, he found a gas cap. He carefully wiped it off and slipped it into place with a satisfying click.

“Great,” he told his wife as he climbed back into the car, “I may have lost my gas cap, but I found another one that fits and it’s even a better cap than the one I had – it locks…”

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Until you walk a mile in another man’s shoes, you can’t imagine the smell.

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About a week ago, I saw an Internet column about eliminating paperwork clutter.

Great!

So I printed out the instructions and put them on top of the rest of the stuff on my desk.

Now I can’t find them.

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I’m sure thankful for social media. Otherwise I’d have to call 674 people every day to tell them I just went to the gym.

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A customer walks into a dress shop and ask, “May I try on that dress in the window?”

The salesperson replies, “We prefer you use the dressing rooms.”

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An old man, because of his grumpy miserly ways, had no friends. Just before he died he asked his doctor, lawyer, and minister to gather around his bedside.

“I have always heard you can’t take it with you, but I am going to prove you can,” he said. “I have $90,000 in cash under my mattress. It’s in three envelopes of $30,000 each. I want each of you to take one envelope now and just before they throw the dirt on me, you throw the envelopes in.”

The three attended the funeral and each threw his envelope into the grave.

On the way back from the cemetery, the minister said, “I don’t feel exactly right. I’m going to confess. I needed $10,000 badly for a new church we’re building, so I took out $10,000 and threw only $20,000 in the grave.”

The doctor said, “I, too, must confess. I am building a hospital and took $20,000 and threw in only $10,000.

“The lawyer said, “Gentlemen, I’m surprised, shocked, and ashamed of you. I don’t see how you could hold out that money. I threw in my personal check for the full amount.”

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What steps should you take if you ever come across a dangerous animal in the wilderness? Very large ones.

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That all for today, hope you all have nicest day today!

Muffin. 😽

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