Muffin’s Fun! #87

Meow, meow everyone! It ‘nother one of those days already and it isn’t even another one of those days yet! Our day start off real early, like at 2:30am. My human say it too early to get up though so he try to go back to bed again. I tell him it not work, but he not listen, which is normal. He not listen most of the time. He bad that way. If he listen more he not get hurt so much as well he not listen. But he not listen to me. Nope. He just do own thing. Then he get hurt. And he try to blame me. Innocent little me. So, I bite legs. hehehe! Here are funnies for Friday…

======

YOU KNOW YOU’VE HAD TOO MUCH COFFEE WHEN…

* You can type sixty words a minute with your feet.
* Instant coffee takes too long.
* You chew on other people’s fingernails.
* You answer the door, before people knock.
* You sleep with your eyes open.
* You go to sleep, just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
* You don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore.
* You’re the employee of the month at Starbucks – and you don’t even work there.
* You help your dog chase its tail.
* You lick your coffeepot clean.
* You’re so wired you pick up FM radio.
* You have a picture of your coffee mug, on your coffee mug.

======

A perfectionist is someone who takes great pains, and gives them to everyone else.

======

A waiter brings the customer his dinner, with his thumb firmly clamped on the steak.

“Are you crazy?” yells the customer. “Don’t bring my food with your hand all over it!”

“What,” answers the waiter, “you want it to fall on the floor again?”

======

Ever feel like life is a car wash and you’re on a bicycle?

======

Little Girl: “Daddy, what do you have to do to become a doctor?”

Daddy: “You have to do well in school, take a lot of math and science, get into an excellent college, then go to med school, and follow that with an internship. Then you can start your own practice. Honey, as smart as you are, you can be anything you want to be.”

Little Girl (after some thought): “What do you have to do to be queen?”

======

That it for today, hope everyone has very nicest weekend time!

Muffin.

©2024 Muffin McLeod.