Muffin’s Fun! #89

Hi, hi everyone!😻 I back again with more fun funnies for Friday! My human say only going to have my funnies post Monday and Friday now. I say no change, like it 3 times. He say no, must change to Monday and Friday. Once he recover from bites all over legs, then we going to have discussion about changes.😹 I not good with change. I not like change, it mess up my napping routine. And that not good. If I not nap properly then I get grouchy and when I get grouchy then I like to bite and when I like to bite then my human use lots of bandages.🙄😹 Well, here is funnies for today…

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Halfway through dinner one night, our friend told us of his days playing football in college as a defensive lineman.

“Did you play sports in college,” his wife then asked me.

“Yes,” I answered. “I was on West Point’s shooting team.”

“That’s great,” she said, appropriately impressed. “Offense or defense?”

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My goal this weekend is to move just enough so no one thinks I’m dead.

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The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.

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The farmer’s favorite bull wasn’t doing well at all. The vet came and looked the animal over thoroughly, then reached in his black bag and pulled out a large pill. He forced open the bull’s mouth and crammed the pill down his gullet.

Suddenly the bull leaped into the air and took off running, jumping every fence in his way.

The vet exclaimed, “Well, looks like your bull is healed!”

The farmer replied, “Great. Now give me one of those pills. I’ve gotta catch him!”

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The school of agriculture’s dean of admissions was interviewing a prospective student, “Why have you chosen this career?” he asked.

“I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my father,” the student replied.

“Your father made a million dollars in farming?” echoed the dean much impressed.

“No,” replied the applicant. “But he always dreamed of it.”

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You ever take a nap so good that you thought you missed the school bus? But it’s Sunday. And you’re 46.

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I hate when I wake up for a glass of water in the middle of the night and eat a whole cheesecake.

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Father: “What do you want for your birthday this year?”

Kid: “I’d like a little brother.”

Father: “Oh my, that’s a big wish!  Why do you want a little brother?”

Kid: “Well, there’s only so much I can blame on the dog.”

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I got a call from a scammer who said, “I’ve got all of your passwords.”
I said, “Great. What are they? I’ll grab a pen.”

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That all for today everyone. I hope you all have very nicest weekend time!

Muffin. 😽

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