Muffin’s Fun! #92

Hi to everyone!😺 It early in the morning here, my human getting ready to wash clothes soon but he wanted to get my Friday funnies for free for you to enjoy nice and early today! That so nice of him. It almost make me want to cry. Of course I had to give him little hint. Like stand in front of laundry cart, show him my teeth, growl, hiss and spit, then wrap myself around his leg biting and scratching while he run around apartment jumping and screaming until he run into wall.🙀 That part kind of embarrassing. Good thing no one here to watch him do that. Terrible, just terrible. But anyway, all good now. He gone washing clothes and I enjoy peace and quiet for morning nap. Here is funnies for today…

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The Pentecostal minister had been summoned to the bedside of a Presbyterian woman who was quite ill. As he went up the walk, he met the little daughter of the woman and said to her, “I’m very glad your mother remembered me in her illness. Is your minister out of town?”

“No,” answered the child. “He’s at home, but we thought it might be something contagious, and we didn’t want to expose him to it.”

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A pregnant woman from Washington, D.C., (whose husband was out of the country) gets in a car accident and is knocked unconscious.

When she wakes up 3 days later she sees that she is no longer pregnant and frantically asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, “Ma’am you had twins! – a boy and a girl. We couldn’t reach your husband and since your brother was the first one here the day they were born we let him name them for you.”

The woman thinks to herself, “No, not my brother … he’s not very bright!”

She asks the doctor, “Well, what’s the girl’s name?”

“Denise.”

“Wow, that’s not a bad name, I like it! What’s the boy’s name?”

“Denephew.”

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Last year I joined a group for antisocial people. We haven’t met yet.

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An extremely wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and is contemplating a proposal.

“Do you think she’d marry me if I tell her I’m 45?” he asked a friend.

“Your chances are better,” said the friend, “if you tell her you’re 90.”

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A couple purchased an old home in Northern Ontario from two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching and there was little insulation, but the couple figured: “If they could live here all those years, so can we!”

One November night the temperature plunged below zero (-18C) and the interior walls were covered with frost. The new owners called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm.

Turns out, they always went to Florida for the winter.

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If you don’t like my driving, don’t call anyone. Just take another road. That’s why the highway department made so many of them.

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That all for today, hope everyone has very nice weekend time!

Muffin. 😽

©2024 Muffin McLeod.