Muffin’s Friday Fun! #105

Hi to everyone on this Friday day!😺 Welcome back to my funnies for you on Friday! It very dull, cloudy day, need to have lights on. That what my human says anyway. I can see fine. He the one that have trouble to see. There is lots of light. But he say no, it dull, it dark, so he need lights on to make it brighter. Okay, it brighter with lights on, me see that. But not need lights on to see, just open eyes, see just fine. My human try it. He walk into wall. Hurts nose. Maybe he right, he need to have lights on.😹 Oh well, here is funnies for Friday…

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The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.  The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, “Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling.  I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.”

I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,” says Grandpa.  How about a demonstration?”

The auditor thinks for a moment and says, “Okay. Go ahead.”

Grandpa says, “I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.”

The auditor thinks a moment and says, “It’s a bet.”

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it.

The auditor’s jaw drops.

Grandpa says, “Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.”

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three thousand dollars, with Grandpa’s attorney as a witness.  He starts to get nervous.

“Want to go double or nothing?” Grandpa asks. “I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, throw that full glass of water into the wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.”

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands on the desk and takes careful aim, but when he throws the glass, water covers the man’s desk, jacket, briefcase, and everything around it.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa’s own attorney starts crying and puts his head in his hands.

“Are you okay?” the auditor asks.

“Not really,” says the attorney.  “This morning, when Grandpa told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and throw water all over your office and that you’d be happy about it!”

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A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS auditor who had come to review his records.

At one point the auditor exclaimed, “We feel it is a great privilege to be allowed to live and work in the USA. As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to eagerly pay them with a smile.”

“Thank goodness,” replied the taxpayer. “I thought you were going to want cash.”

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It sure was a lot easier to get older than it was to get wiser.

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Well, that all for today everyone. I hope you all have nice weekend time!

Muffin. 😽

©2024 Muffin McLeod.