Muffin’s Fun! #113

Hi to all of you and Happy Thanksgiving Day!😻🍁🍂 I filled up with eating chicken today so now I going to have nap. My human will do typing of funnies. Or he will not have good day. He such good human when he do such nice things for me. I thankful for him. After all, who else would I have to bite and scratch? And he have such nice human purring too. Not know why he call it groaning. Very odd word. But groaning sound nice anyway. He always groan when he hit his head. And he hit head lots. Must enjoy doing it. Or why he do it so much? He very strange sometimes. Oh well. Here is funnies for today…

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A good speech needs a good beginning and a good ending, and they should be as close together as possible.

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A little boy came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn clothing. It was obvious he’d been in a bad fight and lost. While his father was patching him up, he asked his son what happened.

“Well, Dad,” said the boy, “I challenged Larry to a duel. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons.”

“Uh-huh,” said the father, “that seems fair.”

“I know, but I never thought he’d choose his big sister!”

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Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.

The first said, “I built a big house for our mother.”

The second said, “I sent her a Mercedes with a driver.”

The third smiled and said, “I’ve got you both beat. You remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can’t see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He’s one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it.”

Soon thereafter, mom sent out her letters of thanks:

“Milton,” she wrote one son, “The house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house.”

“Gerald,” she wrote to another, “I am too old to travel. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!”

“Dearest Donald,” she wrote to her third son, “You have the good sense to know what your mother likes.
The chicken was delicious.”

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That all for today, thank you everyone for reading my funnies!

Muffin. 😽

©2024 Muffin McLeod.