Muffin’s Fun! #123

Hi everyone!😺 Meow cats!😻 Sorry dogs, I still not know how to bark and woof. It another cloudy, rainy and cool day here. We get lots days like this lately. For some reason my human put me on different schedule now, it be Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Not know why. He explain to me. Still not know why. My human not so good at explaining things. He say I not so good at listening. I say he not so good at explaining. He now agree with me. He not even lose much blood.😹 Oh well. Here is funnies for today.

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I have my own system for labeling homemade freezer meals.

Forget calling them “Veal Parmigiana” or “Turkey Loaf” or “Beef Pot Pie.”

If you look in my freezer you’ll see “Whatever,” “Anything,” “I Don’t Know,” and, my favorite, “Food.”

That way when I ask my husband what he wants for dinner, I’m certain to have what he wants.”

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“I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month.” Oh, wait, sorry, bad punctuation. I meant, “I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.”

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I was out walking with my 4-year-old granddaughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.

“Why?” my granddaughter asked.

“Because it’s been on the ground. You don’t know where it’s been, it’s dirty, and probably has germs,” I replied.

At this point, my granddaughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, “Grandma, how do you know all this stuff? You are so smart.”

I was thinking quickly, “All Grandmas know this stuff.  It’s on the Grandma Test. You have to know it, or they don’t let you be a Grandma.”

We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. “Oh…I get it!” she beamed, “So if you don’t pass the test, you have to be the Grandpa.”

“Exactly,” I replied.

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Telling someone to calm down is like bathing a cat.

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A man entered a pet shop, wanting to buy a parrot. The shop owner pointed out three identical parrots on a perch and said, “The parrot to the left costs $500.”
“Why does that parrot cost so much?” the man wondered.

The owner replied, “Well, it knows how to use a computer.”

The man asked about the next parrot on the perch.

“That one costs $1,000 because it can do everything the other parrot can do, plus it knows computer programming.”

Naturally, the startled customer asked about the third parrot.

“That one costs $2,000.”

“And what does that one do?” the man asked.

The owner replied, “To be honest, I’ve never seen him do a thing, but the other two call him boss.”

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My friend David had his ID stolen. Now he’s just Dav.

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That all for today, hope you all have great week!

Muffin. 😽

©2024 Muffin McLeod.