Muffin’s Fun Time! #3

Hi, hi to every one of my readers!😻 Meow to my cat readers too! It very cold day where we live, but sun is shining so there is lots of places inside to nap in sunshiny spots. My human say it good day to clean the apartment. I say it good time to nap. He want to clean. I want to nap! Clean! NAP! CLEAN! CHOMP! He say it good day to nap now. I say that too.😹🙄 Here is funnies for you for today!

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Jeff had gone to propose to his girlfriend and returned home crying bitterly. “What happened, son?” his father asked, eagerly awaiting her response. “Did she accept?”

“No, she sure didn’t,” sobbed Jeff. “When I told her what you advised me to say, she slapped my face and told me to get out.”

“Did you begin by telling her what I told you to say, what I told your mother when she accepted my proposal? ‘Sweetheart, time stands still when I look in your eyes.’ Did you tell her that?” asked his father.

“Oh boy, Dad, did I got it all wrong,” Jeff groaned. “I said, ‘My dear, you have a face that would stop a clock!'”

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My lawn is chicken proof. It’s impeccable.

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A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will:

“To you, my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave her the house and $2 million.”

The lawyer continued, “To my daughter Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave her the yacht, the business and $1 million.”

The lawyer concluded, “And, to my cousin Dan, who hated me, argued with me, and thought that I would never mention him in my will – well you were wrong…

Hi Dan!”

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My wife asked me why I was doing the dishes while sitting down. Told her it’s because I can’t stand doing it.

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Some neighbors of my grandparents gave them a pumpkin pie as a gift. As lovely as the gesture was, it was clear from the first bite that the pie tasted bad. In fact, it was so inedible that my grandmother had to throw it away.

Ever gracious and tactful, my grandmother still felt obliged to send the neighbors a note. It read, “Thank you very much for the pumpkin pie. Something like that doesn’t last very long in our house.”

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What kind of tooth can you be sure the tooth fairy will leave exactly one dollar? A buck tooth.

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Shortly after the birth of their second child, a husband offered to take his wife shopping for a new dress. He endured more than two hours of listening to her complaints about which figure flaw each dress accentuated.

As she emerged from the dressing room, having tried on the last selection, she asked for her husband’s opinion. By this time he had learned just the right things to say. “It’s perfect!” he exclaimed. “It makes your waist look smaller, your legs look longer, and slenderizes your hips.”

Just then another lady in the dressing room spoke out. “If there is a dress here that will do that, I’ll buy them all!”

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Well, that all for today everyone! I hope you have wonderful week!

Muffin. 😽

©2025 Muffin McLeod.