For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
Hi, hi everyone!π» Thank you for coming back to read my fun time funnies! My human go to store and shop again today. He say nothing happen. That mean he hiding something and not want to tell me about it. Now I really curious. But, maybe he right. He have some fun, sort of, on other day. He try to burn us out of apartment! He try to heat some food in toaster oven thing. He turn on and go to bathroom. He come back and kitchen…oops, my human not want me to talk about that one.πΉ So, it cloudy day and not so warm. My human say it very icy outside. So, I tell him to stay inside. He say then he can’t get me food. I say he shouldn’t worry about little bit of ice, go shopping. He buy new thingy to replace other one that went up in smoke and fire…oops, my human not want me to talk about that one.πΉ Here are funnies today…
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A local priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in
the parish.Β
A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make
the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.
However, he was delayed so the priest decided to say his own few words while
they waited:
“I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard
here.Β I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first
person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set
and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He
had also stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an
affair with his best friend’s wife, and taken illicit drugs. I was appalled.
“But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and
I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.”
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of
apologies for being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and
said: “I’ll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived. In fact, I
had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession.”
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I may look busy, but I’m just confused.
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The CEO was scheduled to speak at an important convention, so he asked one of his employees to write him a punchy, 20-minute speech.
When the CEO returned from the big event, he was furious.
“What’s the idea of writing me an hour-long speech?” he demanded to know. “Half the audience walked out before I finished.”
The employee was baffled.Β “I wrote you a 20-minute speech,” he replied. “And I gave you the two extra copies you asked for.”
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I smile because I have no idea what’s going on.
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I asked my girlfriend to describe me in 5 words.
She said I’m mature, I’m moral, I’m pure, I’m polite and ultimately I’m perfect!
Then she added that I also had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces.
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Not a single person asked if I could run fast in my new shoes today. Being an adult is stupid.
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That all for today everyone! Have very nicest week to all of you and me thanking you again for reading today!
Muffin. π½
Β©2025 Muffin McLeod.
Canβt decide whether the priest or the CEO joke is my favourite
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My human laugh out loud when he read both jokes! Thanking you human Sheree, glad you enjoyed jokes today!πΉπ»
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Me so happy you like funnies today human Rossana!πΉπ Have nice day to you!π»
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